The video explores the significant role of listening in effective communication and negotiation. It begins by highlighting the philosophical question of whether a sound exists if no one hears it, drawing parallels with communication effectiveness if no one listens. The speaker stresses that listening is often overlooked as an essential component of communication, particularly in a world filled with interruptions. By employing listening in negotiations, such as in the story with Hugo Chavez, meaningful progress toward resolving conflict can be made.

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Key Vocabularies and Common Phrases:

1. philosophical [ˌfɪləˈsɒfɪkl] - (adjective) - Related to the study of fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence. - Synonyms: (thoughtful, profound, theoretical)

There's an ancient and well known philosophical riddle that asks, if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?

2. negotiation [nɪˌɡoʊʃiˈeɪʃn] - (noun) - Discussion aimed at reaching an agreement. - Synonyms: (bargaining, discussion, deliberation)

We think of negotiation as being about talking, but in fact it's really about listening.

3. rapport [ræˈpɔr] - (noun) - A friendly, harmonious relationship, especially one involving mutual understanding or agreement. - Synonyms: (affinity, relationship, harmony)

It helps us build rapport, it builds trust, it shows we care.

4. concession [kənˈsɛʃn] - (noun) - A thing that is granted or accepted, especially in response to demands; a thing given up or yielded. - Synonyms: (compromise, allowance, adjustment)

In short, listening may be the cheapest concession we can make in a negotiation.

5. distraction [dɪˈstrækʃn] - (noun) - A thing that prevents someone from concentrating on something else. - Synonyms: (interruption, disturbance, hindrance)

We live in an age we call the age of communication, and certainly with a lot of cell phones and texts and tweets and emails, there's a lot of talking going on. But how much listening can there really be with so much interruption and distraction?

6. mediation [ˌmiːdiˈeɪʃn] - (noun) - A process by which a neutral party assists two or more parties in negotiating a conflict or dispute. - Synonyms: (intervention, arbitration, negotiation)

As in the course of my mediation work, I've personally witnessed the enormous cost of conflict, the broken relationships...

7. contagious [kənˈteɪdʒəs] - (adjective) - Tending to spread from person to person. - Synonyms: (infectious, transmissible, catching)

Listening can be contagious.

8. titanic [taɪˈtænɪk] - (adjective) - Of exceptional strength, size, or power. - Synonyms: (gigantic, colossal, immense)

I was invited to ask a brazilian entrepreneur by the name of Abilio Dinizdhenne to help him because he was trapped in a titanic legal dispute...

9. resolution [ˌrɛzəˈluːʃn] - (noun) - A firm decision to do or not to do something; the action of solving a problem. - Synonyms: (decision, determination, settlement)

...resolve it with a settlement that left both sides highly satisfied.

10. audacious [ɔːˈdeɪʃəs] - (adjective) - Showing a willingness to take bold risks. - Synonyms: (bold, daring, fearless)

And while it may seem audacious, it's not that complicated because listening can be a chain reaction...

The power of listening | William Ury | TEDxSanDiego

There's an ancient and well known philosophical riddle that asks, if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? A scientific view? Is that why a tree will make waves in the air, to make a sound? It takes an ear to hear it. So my question is, if a person speaks, if they offer a TED talk, for example, and no one listens, is that really communication? Listening, I believe, is the missing half of communication, absolutely necessary, but often overlooked. We live in an age we call the age of communication, and certainly with a lot of cell phones and texts and tweets and emails, there's a lot of talking going on. But how much listening can there really be with so much interruption and distraction?

So my passion for the last 30 years has been helping people get to, yes, in very tough negotiations, from family feuds to boardroom battles, from labor strikes to civil wars. And I hear a lot of talking, but I don't hear a lot of real listening. We think of negotiation as being about talking, but in fact it's really about listening. If you study the behavior of successful negotiators, you find that they listen far more than they talk. After all, we're given two years in one mouth for a reason, to listen twice as much, at least as we speak.

So why listen? Why is it so important to listen? Let me tell you a story. Some years ago, I was in the country of Venezuela, serving as a third party between the government and the political opposition at a time of intense conflict with a lot of people fearing a civil war. My colleague Francisco Diaz and I had an appointment with the president, Hugo Chavez, at 09:00 p.m. at the presidential palace. Finally, at midnight, we were ushered in to see the president, who had his entire cabinet arrayed behind him. And he asked me, so, Yuri, what do you think of the situation going on here? And I said, mister president, I've been talking to your ministers here and to the opposition, and I think you're making some progress.

Progress? What do you mean progress? He shouted, you're blind. You're not seeing all the dirty tricks those traitors are up to. And he leaned in very close to my face and proceeded to shout, what was I going to do? Part of me felt like defending myself, naturally, but what good would it do for me to get into an argument with the president of Venezuela? How would that advance peace? So I just listened. I gave him my full attention. I listened to where he was coming from. And President Chavez was known. He was famous for making eight hour speeches but after 30 minutes of me just nodding and listening, I saw his shoulder slowly sagde and he said to me in a very weary tone of voice, so Yuri, what should I do? That's the sound of a human mind opening. Opening to listen.

So I said, mister president, it's almost Christmas. The country needs a break. Last year all the festivities were canceled because of the conflict. Why not propose a truce this time, so that people can enjoy the holidays with their families? And after that, everybody will maybe be in a better mood to listen. He said, that's a great idea. I'm going to announce that in my next speech, his mood had completely shifted. How? Through the simple power of listening. Because I listened to him, he was more ready to listen to me.

So there are at least three important reasons why it's important to listen in any negotiation or conflict. The first is that it helps us understand the other side. negotiation, after all, is an exercise in influence. You're trying to change someone else's mind. How can you possibly change someone else's mind if you don't know where their mind is? Listening is key. The second reason, just as important is it helps us connect with the other human being. It helps us build rapport, it builds trust, it shows we care. After all, everybody wants to be heard. And the third is, as with President Chavez, it makes it more likely that the other person is going to listen to us. It helps us get to yes.

In short, listening may be the cheapest concession we can make in a negotiation. It costs us nothing and it brings huge benefits. Listening may be the golden key that opens the door to human relationship.

So how do we listen? Well, it turns out that we often take listening for granted as something easy and natural. But in fact, at least in my experience, real listening, genuine listening, is something that needs to be learned and practiced every day. In ordinary listening, we're hearing the words and we're often thinking, where do I agree? Where do I disagree? What am I going to say in response? In other words, the focus is on us. In genuine listening, however, the spotlight moves to the other person. We put ourselves in their shoes. We tune into their wavelength. We listen from within their frame of reference, not just ours. And that's not easy.

In genuine listening, we listen not just for what's being said, but for what's not being said. We listen not just to the words, but to what's behind the words. We listen for the underlying emotions and feelings, the underlying needs, what that person really needs or wants. Let me give you an example. About a year and a half ago, I was invited to ask a brazilian entrepreneur by the name of Abilio Dinizdhenne to help him because he was trapped in a titanic legal dispute with his french business partner over the control of Brazil's largest retailer.

The Financial Times called it perhaps the biggest cross continental boardroom showdown in recent history. It had gone on for two and a half years, and it was immensely costly and stressful, not only to both parties, but to their families and the 150,000 employees of the company. So when I sat down with Abilio in his home, I listened to his story. And after that, I had a question. I said, abilio, help me understand here. What do you really want?

And he said, well, I want the stock at a certain price. I want the company headquarters. I want the elimination of the non compete clause. And he gave me a list. But I, as I listened, heard something deeper there that was unspoken. So I asked him, Abilio, you're a man who seems to have everything. What are these things really going to give you? What do you most want in your life?

And he paused for a moment and thought about it. And finally he said, freedom. I want my freedom. I want to be free to pursue my business dreams, and I want to be free to spend time with my family. That was it. I was hearing the human being behind the words, not just the champion businessman. And so once we were clear about his deepest need, then the negotiation itself, while challenging, became a lot easier. And in four short days, my colleagues and I, by listening to the other side, were able to take this titanic dispute and resolve it with a settlement that left both sides highly satisfied.

As Abilio, who became a friend in the process, later told me, I got everything I wanted, but most importantly, I got my life back. How did that happen? Through the simple power of listening.

So if listening is so useful, why isn't everyone doing it? Well, to tell you the truth, it's not so easy. I mean, if I reflect on my own experience for a moment, there are times when I feel like I'm listening pretty well in my work, only to go home and find out I'm not listening so well to my wife, for example. It's humbling. I can tell you the real problem in the way. What makes it so hard to listen is that there's so much going on in our minds, so much noise and distraction, that we don't have the mental and emotional space to be able to truly listen to the other side.

So how do we clear our minds? It may seem odd, but the secret, I find, is if we want to listen to the other side, we have to learn to listen to ourselves first. When I was sitting there with President Chavez, what really helped me was that just beforehand, I had taken a few moments of quieter, just to pay attention to what was going on, for me to listen to myself, to quiet my mind. So when he began shouting, I was ready. I could notice, in fact, that my cheeks were reddening, that my jaw was a little clenched. I felt some fear or some anxiety.

And by paying attention to those sensations and emotions, I was able to let them go so that I could then listen truly to President Chavez. So what if, before an important or delicate or sensitive conversation, we took a moment of silence, just to tune in, listen to where we are? I believe if we did that, if we listened truly to ourselves first, we would find it a lot easier to listen to others.

So the final question is, is if we'd listened more, what difference would it make in the world? I believe it would make a huge difference. As in the course of my mediation work, I've personally witnessed the enormous cost of conflict, the broken relationships, the broken families, the stressed out workplaces, the ruinous lawsuits, the senseless wars.

And what always strikes me is that the biggest opportunity that we have, actually is to prevent these conflicts even before they start. How do we do that? It's not easy, but it almost always starts with one simple step, listening. So this is my dream, a listening revolution that can turn this age of communication into an age of listening. In other words, an age of true communication.

Imagine for a moment a world in which every child learns to listen at an early age. What if we taught listening in school like we teach reading as a core skill? Because, after all, listening is how you read people. Imagine a world in which parents learn to listen to their children. What better way, after all, is there for us to teach our children to listen to us than for us to listen to them? What better way for us to show our children that they truly matter? What better way is there to show our love? And as an extra bonus, maybe we'd see happier marriages and fewer divorces as couples learn to listen to each other.

Imagine a world in which leaders learned how to listen to their people. What if we chose leaders based on their ability to listen, not just talk? What if listening became the norm in our organizations and not just the exception? What if on radio and tv, we had not just talk shows, but listen shows? What if we had not just peace talks, but peace listens? I firmly believe that we get to, yes, a lot more often. We might not eliminate all conflict, but we would avert a lot of fights and even wars and everybody would be much better off. And I very happily might be out of a job.

That's my dream. And while it may seem audacious, it's not that complicated because listening can be a chain reaction in which each person who is genuinely listened to feels naturally inspired to listen to the next. Listening can be contagious. And so I invite you to start this chain reaction today, right here, right now, in your next conversation with a colleague or a client, a partner or a child, a friend or a stranger, give them your full attention and listen to the human being behind the words. Because one of the biggest gifts we can give anyone is the gift of being heard with the simple power of listening. Now we can transform our relationships, our families and our world for the better ear by ear. Thank you for listening.

Philosophy, Communication, Leadership, Negotiation, Innovation, Listening, Tedx Talks