In this video, individuals are encouraged to reconsider their relationship with failure and perfection. The narrator begins by discussing personal experiences with various activities like ballet, piano, and robotics, emphasizing the common desire to appear flawless and the discomfort associated with making mistakes. They explain how the societal pressure for perfection often leads to quitting in the face of challenges and the realization that this mindset hinders real growth.

Through a meaningful encounter with a younger dancer named Diya, the speaker experiences a turning point that shifts their perspective. Diya's resilience in the face of repeated mistakes inspires the narrator to embrace mistakes as part of the learning journey. This pivotal moment underscores the importance of self-compassion and rearranging one's mindset to view failures as opportunities to learn and grow rather than letting them define self-worth.

Main takeaways from the video:

Please remember to turn on the CC button to view the subtitles.

Key Vocabularies and Common Phrases:

1. perfection [pərˈfɛkʃən] - (noun) - The state or quality of being perfect or complete so that nothing is wanted. - Synonyms: (flawlessness, excellence, completeness)

But what if I told you that this chase for perfection is what's really holding us back?

2. quantify [ˈkwɒntɪfaɪ] - (verb) - To measure or express as a quantity. - Synonyms: (measure, assess, evaluate)

Because the thing is, as humans, we yearn to quantify things, to turn them into numbers, and to compare.

3. suffocating [ˈsʌfəˌkeɪtɪŋ] - (adjective) - Making it difficult to breathe or very uncomfortable. - Synonyms: (stifling, oppressive, overwhelming)

But the pressure to always hit a perfect score is suffocating.

4. flawlessly [ˈflɔːləsli] - (adverb) - In a manner that is without any imperfections or defects. - Synonyms: (perfectly, impeccably, seamlessly)

I remember tying my entire worth to how flawlessly I could perform.

5. determination [dɪˌtɜːrmɪˈneɪʃən] - (noun) - The quality of having firmly decided to do something despite challenges. - Synonyms: (resolve, perseverance, tenacity)

And every time she did, she got up with the same determination as the last.

6. resilience [rɪˈzɪljəns] - (noun) - The ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. - Synonyms: (toughness, perseverance, flexibility)

resilience. Most people think it's about never backing down and being unbreakable.

7. liberating [ˈlɪbəˌreɪtɪŋ] - (adjective) - Freeing someone from a situation that limits freedom or thought. - Synonyms: (empowering, freeing, emancipating)

And that forgiveness was liberating because that led me to find a new kind of strength.

8. evolve [ɪˈvɒlv] - (verb) - To develop gradually from a simple to a more complex form. - Synonyms: (develop, grow, progress)

We view those as opportunities to learn and to grow. And that's what led us to victory. Not our ability to be flawless, but our ability to evolve.

9. misstep [ˈmɪsˌstɛp] - (noun) - An act or decision that is wrong, careless, or not considered carefully. - Synonyms: (mistake, error, blunder)

We learned from every misstep and every error in our code.

10. amidst [əˈmɪdst] - (preposition) - In the middle of; surrounded by. - Synonyms: (among, amidst, between)

And amidst all this, I started feeling like I couldn't give my best to everything that I was doing.

Beyond Perfect - Maana Shah - TEDxBDSIS

I have a question for you. Who here has failed? Now, let me ask you another question. How did it feel? Terrible, right? There's something about failure that makes us feel small. Like we're not enough. And we hate it. Hate the idea of not being perfect. But what if I told you that this chase for perfection is what's really holding us back?

We, as a society, love straight lines. We love having clear, perfect paths laid out for us. But life's full of twists and turns and dead ends. And the reality is, we get stuck. Often. And when we do, we tend to beat ourselves up about it. But what we don't realize is that it isn't just failure. It's part of our process.

From a young age, I have been switching from one activity to the next in hopes to find the thing that I'd be great at. At 4, I took up ballet. At 6, I took up piano. At 9, Odyssey. But every time I hit a wall, every time I wasn't immediately great at something, I quit. Why? Because somewhere in the back of my mind, I always thought, if I can't be perfect at this, why should I even try? I didn't know that quitting wasn't the only option.

To me, it was easier to walk away than to admit that I didn't know the way forward. Because the thing is, as humans, we yearn to quantify things, to turn them into numbers, and to compare. It gives our work significance. But the pressure to always hit a perfect score is suffocating.

All my life, I have always felt like I needed to prove something. I would be obsessing over my grades because I wanted to prove to everyone that I could do it right. But the issue with all of this is that in our attempt to be perfect, we often stop trying altogether. We're so afraid to mess up that we never give ourselves a real shot.

The result? We spend our lives chasing this illusion of perfection. And in doing so, we become blinded by the pressure to get everything right. It sneaks up on us, becoming a source of anxiety, and makes us forget why we started in the first place.

Last year, I joined a robotics team. And it was by far one of the best experiences of my life. But it was a big time commitment, more than I had expected. And between long hours of coding, doing outreach, and preparing for my competition, I felt stretched thin, constantly battling the fear that I wasn't enough.

And it wasn't just robotics. I had to be a good student, a good dancer, a good musician, a good friend, a good sibling, and a good daughter. I was juggling everything. Trying to prove, not only to myself, but to others that I could handle it. But would I be a good enough student? A good enough daughter?

These thoughts eventually became my best friend. And amidst all this, I started feeling like I couldn't give my best to everything that I was doing. Because no matter how much effort I put in, I just wasn't enough.

Last year, I had a ballet exam. And during one of my ballet recitals, I had to try a really difficult choreography. And no matter how hard I tried during that one class, I just wasn't able to get that one step right. No matter how hard I tried, it just did not happen.

And I could feel the panic rising, that familiar need to fix everything, to make it perfect, to prove that I could do it. I felt trapped, like I had hit yet another dead end. In that moment, I was completely overwhelmed. I remember tying my entire worth to how flawlessly I could perform. And I started questioning if I even belonged there.

But then something shifted. During one of my water breaks, I saw one of the younger girls, Diya, practicing in the corner. She was trying out a new turn, but she kept falling over. And every time she did, she got up with the same determination as the last. She wasn't panicking. She wasn't scared. She was calm. She was more focused on learning than trying to be perfect.

And that's when it hit me. Why wasn't I giving myself the same grace? She wasn't afraid of messing up. And I realized I didn't need to be either. So instead of letting that panic consume me, I took a step back. I took a breath, and I told myself, it's okay. You're still learning. It's okay to slow down. And it was a small moment, but it felt like a turning point.

For the first time, I let myself make mistakes without letting those mistakes define who I was. For the first time, I realized I didn't need to be ashamed of failure. And it wasn't easy to make myself believe this. But I reminded myself constantly, over and over again, that I wasn't my mistakes. I started training my mind to view them not as roadblocks, but as stepping stones.

And eventually, I began to understand that I wasn't failing anyone by not being perfect. I wasn't letting anyone down by not being my best all the time or by taking a break. The only person I was really disappointing was myself, by holding onto this impossible standard I had set.

And that led me to another challenge. Learning how to forgive myself. Forgiveness isn't something we think about when it comes to us, yet we're so quick to grant it to others. It's easy to tell yourself, you need to work harder, but it's hard to look into the mirror and say, you're doing your best, and I am proud of you.

Learning to let go of perfection and learning to forgive myself meant embracing what I am, a work in progress. And that forgiveness was liberating because that led me to find a new kind of strength. resilience. Most people think it's about never backing down and being unbreakable. But the version of resilience I wanted to embody was different.

It was about being brave enough to step into the unknown and giving my all, knowing that failure might be waiting for me. It was about being strong enough to be sensitive to my own limits, to knowing my own needs, and to knowing that taking a break does not make me less capable.

And robotics was a test in that sense. We weren't perfect. Far from it, actually. We made mistakes, but we learned. We learned from every misstep and every error in our code. But we view those as opportunities to learn and to grow. And that's what led us to victory. Not our ability to be flawless, but our ability to evolve.

Now, here's the thing. Once I finally let go of the idea of perfection, things started to fall into place. I still had my friends. I still did well in school, and I started dancing and playing music for myself. I wasn't scared of not being perfect anymore. It just taught me that I didn't need to be perfect to succeed.

Because I knew my goals, I knew where I wanted to be, and I didn't have to be perfect to get there. That I wasn't lost. I was just learning. And looking back, these experiences, like many others, have taught me three main things. How to pause, how to pivot, and how to persist.

Because when things didn't go my way, I had to pause, take a moment, and look at what went wrong. Then I learned to persist, to keep moving, to adjust my expectations and adjust my approach. Then finally, I learned to persist, to keep moving forward, no matter what happened.

Once I embraced these three principles, I finally found balance. A version of balance that worked for me because I stopped living in that endless cycle of overthinking. And I finally started to enjoy my life. I was, for the first time, happy with myself.

And I stand here today not as someone who has it all figured out, but as someone who's learned to embrace the messiness of life. Because here's the thing. I don't think any of us have all the answers. I don't know what university I'm going to end up at or which job I'm going to land. I don't know my future.

But that's okay. What I do know is that I am going to fail. I am going to make mistakes, but I will learn. I'm not going to let my story be one driven by my chase for perfection. But I want to make it about living in the moment, about being able to grow and learn along the way.

So here's what I want to leave you with. Next time you feel like you failed or you feel lost, remember this. It's just another opportunity for you to pause, to pivot, to persist, and come back even stronger. Maybe there is no right path or right destination. Maybe we're not supposed to have all the answers right away because that's where the magic happens.

That's when you really grow. Because when you open yourself up to these experiences, that's when you learn. Maybe, just maybe, we're not navigating something more meaningful than perfection. Something that tells a story. Your story. This was my story. And I realize now I am ready to go beyond perfect. The question is, are you? Thank you.

Education, Inspiration, Motivation, Perfectionism, Self Acceptance, Growth, Tedx Talks