The video emphasizes the importance of planning one's life in a way that allows for control, especially in influencing others to achieve personal and collective goals. It underscores the power of internal locus of control, which refers to the belief in one's ability to shape their future through their actions. This belief affects happiness, self-confidence, and personal effectiveness. By fostering relationships based on mutual cooperation and persuasion, individuals can achieve significant success and influence in their personal and professional lives.

The importance of persuasion and negotiation is highlighted as essential skills for leadership and success. Individuals are encouraged to develop the habit of asking for what they want, as this can lead to beneficial outcomes such as higher salaries or better job positions. The discussion includes various strategies for effective negotiation and emphasizes the significance of researching, building relationships, and timing in achieving one's objectives.

Main takeaways from the video:

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Key Vocabularies and Common Phrases:

1. visionaries [ˈvɪʒəˌnɛriz] - (noun) - Persons who are inspired by or have an idea about what the future could be like. - Synonyms: (idealists, dreamers, seers)

Great leaders and visionaries have used this power to unite countries, start movements, and change the course of human progress throughout history.

2. locus of control [ˈloʊkəs əv kənˈtroʊl] - (noun phrase) - The extent to which individuals believe they can control events affecting them. - Synonyms: (sphere of influence, control center, focus of control)

Psychologists call this the theory of locus of control.

3. empathy [ˈɛmpəθi] - (noun) - The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. - Synonyms: (compassion, understanding, sensitivity)

Remember that real power doesn't come from forcing or coercing people to do what you want. It comes from building real relationships based on trust, empathy, and connection with those around us.

4. expedient [ɪkˈspiːdiənt] - (noun) - A means of attaining an end, especially one that is convenient but considered improper or immoral. - Synonyms: (measure, means, method)

Unfortunately, as Thomas Edison once said, there is no expedient to which a man will not resort to avoid the real labor of thinking.

5. endeavor [ɪnˈdɛvər] - (verb) - To attempt to achieve or complete something with effort. - Synonyms: (attempt, try, strive)

Let us keep working for leadership that makes everyone better and creates a brighter future for everyone.

6. negotiation [nɪˌgoʊʃiˈeɪʃən] - (noun) - A discussion aimed at reaching an agreement between two or more parties. - Synonyms: (bargaining, discussions, talks)

All kinds of negotiation and persuasion involve a form of selling, but they stay where they are, making much less than they could and doing a job they don't really enjoy

7. coerce [koʊˈɜːrs] - (verb) - To compel an unwilling person to do something by using force or threats. - Synonyms: (compel, force, pressure)

Remember that real power doesn't come from forcing or coercing people to do what you want.

8. exemplify [ɪɡˈzɛmplɪˌfaɪ] - (verb) - To be a typical example of something. - Synonyms: (typify, demonstrate, illustrate)

It's about setting a good example, getting people to act based on shared values, and giving them the tools they need to reach their full potential.

9. authenticity [ˌɔːθɛnˈtɪsɪti] - (noun) - The quality of being genuine or true to one's own personality, spirit, or character. - Synonyms: (genuineness, legitimacy, credibility)

Being able to motivate, convince and lead with honesty is not only a competitive edge, but also a key part of our influence.

10. instill [ɪnˈstɪl] - (verb) - Gradually but firmly establish an idea or attitude in a person's mind. - Synonyms: (implant, inculcate, impress)

Every act of parenting requires convincing your children of good values and behaviors to cooperate and assist.

How To Win Friends And Influence People - Brian Tracy Motivational Speech

If you want to be happy and have a lot of self-confidence, you need to plan your life so that you feel like you can control what happens to you. And when it comes to getting things you want through other people, this is more important than anywhere else. To do something important, you need a lot of other people to help you. If you want to reach your full potential as a person, you need to plan your whole life so that you have relationships with people who get along and work together. You are in charge of getting a lot of people to work together to help you get where you want to go.

Great leaders and visionaries have used this power to unite countries, start movements, and change the course of human progress throughout history. As we start this journey of discovery and exploration, let us think about the huge responsibility that comes with having a lot of impact. Let's not only work to reach our own goals, but also to help those around us reach theirs by creating spaces where everyone's voice is heard and everyone is motivated to do their best. Let's all accept the transformative power of influence, knowing that the ability to make a positive difference in other people's lives is not just a skill to be learned, but a legacy to be loved and cared for.

It also says you feel negative about yourself to the extent that you feel you are not in control. Psychologists call this the theory of locus of control. They say that each person feels that their life is controlled by either internal or external factors. A person with an internal locus of control feels they are in charge and making decisions that determine the direction of their life. Conversely, a person with an external locus of control feels that others are in charge and that they are controlled by external factors and influences.

You really need to get good at this. You can either affect other people or be affected by them. You can learn to get other people to agree with you and help you, or you can just let other people's ideas change your mind and help them. This is the true difference between feeling powerful and feeling powerless, between being an active agent and being a victim. Learning to consistently get what you want through others makes you feel strong and effective. Every time you achieve a goal with the help and cooperation of others, you feel more competent and capable.

Cooperation is the key to success in life. Your ability to interact effectively with others, negotiate, persuade, and communicate in a way that helps you achieve your goals is essential for everything that happens to you. Without exception, the most respected and highest-paid men and women in our society are those who have developed their skills to be influential in their interactions with others in all aspects of their work and personal lives. There is a law of control that says you feel positive about yourself to the extent that you feel you're in control of your own life. The men and women with the highest levels of self-confidence are those who, through hard work and experience, have become highly skilled at effectively working with different types of people to achieve their goals.

In reality, everything in life revolves around your relationships. Your relationships will determine your success or failure, and the speed at which you achieve your goals will determine your level of happiness, confidence, and self-esteem. Your ability to influence, persuade and gain the cooperation of others is an indispensable part of everything you become.

I have been teaching professional sales for many years, and one thing I've learned is that everyone is in the field of sales. Everyone earns a living by selling something to someone from the moment they accept their first job to the moment they retire. And every day of their life, they are always either selling or being sold to. Let me define selling for a moment. Selling is the ability to persuade another person to cooperate with you to achieve a common goal. All kinds of negotiation and persuasion involve a form of selling, but they stay where they are, making much less than they could and doing a job they don't really enjoy. This takes place because they don't know how to change things for the better.

People who are happy and sure of themselves have learned how to set things up so that they always get what they want. And meanwhile, people who haven't learned how to deal well usually end up with something secondary or less than what they wanted or expected. You can easily be influential in other parts of your life with the same methods you use to be influential in one part of your life. Today we will talk about the ability to persuade others, which is a basic skill that is essential for leadership, success and personal happiness when working together and talking to each other are very important.

Being able to motivate, convince and lead with honesty is not only a competitive edge, but also a key part of our influence. Come with me as we explore the art and science of persuasion. How to win people over, help them make choices, and bring about positive change. Whether we're in business, politics, or our personal lives, how well we can persuade others affects not only what happens to us, but also how our relationships and communities are built.

Developing the habit of boldly asking for what you want from whoever you are interacting with would help you to greatly boost your self-confidence and self-esteem, and most importantly, improve your quality of life. If you could only pick one item from this whole program simply because they persevered in asking and the chances worked in their favor. I have seen quite ordinary-looking men, land dates and even wed incredibly attractive ladies. Many people obtained great positions with shockingly high pay because they had the confidence to confidently ask for what they wanted and someone responded.

Over time, they settle into a comfort zone and instead of looking for ways out, they use their reasoning powers to justify staying in their situation. Many thousands of people have gotten better jobs and better salaries in better locations by following the instructions I'm about to give you here. This is simply the formula for what's called creative job hunting. It's one of the best ways to accelerate your entire career and works with a success rate of 95% for anyone who tries it. The first thing you need to do to get the job you want is to clearly describe what that job is.

Quality trust forms the foundation of any connection nowadays. Those who commit a lot of time and effort to create strong connections based on trust and subsequently preserve them over time, are the most successful persons. Smart people are those that view others long term and consider interacting with them for many years. They act in line with the first one, even if they take into account the third, fourth and fifth contacts with the same person. In the process of building trust, you ask questions to uncover the person's needs and issues, and then you listen attentively to their responses.

You cannot lose before you ask. If you ask politely and consistently, should the person say no, you have nothing. You find yourself in the exact situation you were in prior to asking. Though you haven't lost anything, you might not have gained anything either. On the other hand, if someone says yes, and finally, someone will, you're much ahead of someone who didn't show any interesting questions.

I know a young man who built his fortune by going out and making what he called 60% offers on houses that were for sale. Or you'll see that we've come a long way since the start of the show. Getting what you want starts with being very clear about what it is you want. Then you work your way backwards from your goal to the present. You picture things first, then write them down. First, you think about all the steps you need to take to get where you want to go. Next, you make a list of all the people you'll need to work with to reach your goals. The most powerful tool you have for improving your life is your mind and your ability to think.

Unfortunately, as Thomas Edison once said, there is no expedient to which a man will not resort to avoid the real labor of thinking. It's probably true, but it will benefit you greatly if you develop the habit of applying your powerful brain to your situation before you start. Peter Drucker, the management guru, once said, action without thought is the cause of every failure. If this is true, then it means that action preceded by thought is the cause of every success. Perhaps this is why.

Thomas J. So the rule is never to accept a job offer or salary the first time it's made. Thank them very much for the offer and apologize by saying you'll take it very seriously and would like to meet again in a couple of days. When negotiating a salary, the employer's job is not to pay you more than absolutely necessary to avoid losing you. The initial salary offer is usually 10% to 20% less than what the employer is actually willing to pay if they've come to offer you the job in the first place. When you come back, you have a certain amount of power that you must use very carefully enough our rule about negotiating the rule of four is the name for it. This rule just says that there are four main things to talk about during a discussion. One problem is the main one, and the other three are smaller ones. After you agree on the pay, there are three more things you need to agree on.

The first small thing you should talk about when discussing a job is when your next raise will be and what you can do to get it. Ask for a specific standard of achievement or a certain amount of time. Repeat this exercise with as many different companies as possible in the type of business or industry you've decided to work in. Go to the library and research the industry. Read everything you can, get your hands on, and ask questions to people in the business. Once you have completed your research, you can make a decision about where you want to work and what you want to do and what benefits you'll gain from it. Then call the person you've decided to work for and request another meeting.

Tell them you've completed your research on this industry and would like to share your findings. He was now fully in charge of his job and doing exactly what he had decided he wanted to do. He was also working for the company he had picked after doing a lot of research. If you've done your homework correctly, you should have a fairly clear idea of how much money you can ask for, and this is where you start selling and negotiating. If the individual offers you a job, it means you've made a sale. But before accepting the job, you find yourself in one of the best negotiating positions you've ever had.

Take a moment to think about what we've learned today and think about how you can use these ideas to help you become a better leader and grow as a person. Every chance you get to influence someone, whether it's at work or in a personal setting, is a chance to make a good, long-lasting difference. As you leave today, I want you to take on the duty that comes with having a lot of power. Know that the things you do can change not only the outcomes, but also the people's hearts and thoughts. So use it wisely with honesty and kindness. Every act of parenting requires convincing your children of good values and behaviors to cooperate and assist. Your job is to approach everything you do from this perspective and then learn the skills you need to become highly competent at conveying your viewpoint and persuading others to your way of thinking. Being able to get what you want can make a big difference in many parts of your life.

To begin, there's your job. More than 80% of people working today would rather make more money or do something else at work or in a different company. Watson Sr. The founder of IBM Corporation made signs with the word think and placed them in every office and on every wall of the company. This constant reminder to think helps IBM remain one of the most powerful and respected companies in the world. Once you know what you really want and whose aid you will need to get it, consider the fundamental selling process as it relates to this person or scenario. You'll be prepared to begin the process of influence. First of all, one should get to know the individual and build trust in a friendly relationship with them.

After ten minutes, keep your word and offer to leave. If they invite you to stay longer. Do it gracefully, but never ever ask or suggest that you are looking for a job. In this meeting, you're simply seeking information. What this meeting does is provide both of you the opportunity to evaluate each other in a non-threatening situation. You'll have the chance to observe them in the company and determine if this is the kind of place where you'd like to invest your work and life. The other person has the opportunity to objectively look at you without any pressure to evaluate you or make any kind of decision.

Tell the employer that you're very interested in accepting the job, but based on your research and the contribution you believe you can make, you think the job should pay about 20% more than what they're offering. Provide the potential employer with the specific amount you would like to earn monthly and annually. Then smile and remain completely silent. Be prepared to ask for more time to think it over, or even to walk away if the salary offer is too low. However, in most cases, the employer will substantially increase the offer because now that they've decided to hire you, they don't want to lose you and start over.

Figure out where in the country you want to work, what kind of company you want to work for, who you want to work with, and most importantly, what kind of work you always look forward to. You might have to read and study a lot for this and you might change your mind about going into this field. There was a study not long ago that showed that 80% of college graduates work in areas other than what they studied in school. In the United States, the average adult will have ten full-time jobs with four career moves that are all very different from the last. Each job will last more than three years. That's why people often switch jobs. What's strange and wrong is staying at a job when you're not happy with it.

The second step is to do talks, to gather information. You're not going out to find a job. Instead, you want to find a place where you could work. You can only decide if this is the kind of company and job you want by talking to the person who might hire you. In the United States, 85% of the job market is hidden and not written down or promoted.

People fill a lot of jobs by just showing up. When a job or need for a certain type of person comes up as part of your educational interview process, call someone and ask to talk for ten minutes to get their opinion on a certain subject. If you say you're researching jobs in this area and want to know more about it, most people will give you ten minutes to ask questions. During your ten minute interview. Ask about the industry, its growth prospects, its main competitors, its strengths and weaknesses, and where the opportunities lie in the future. Then it's easy to decide who to hire. A high tech business hired me not long ago to teach them advanced sales skills.

The sales manager who invited me to this talk also drove me to the airport. Afterward, he told me that he had gone through the same same thing and decided that this company was a great place for a sales manager that they didn't have yet. Besides that, he said it took five months of working as a counselor for this company before they finally gave him the job with the duties and pay he wanted.

There were a few of our items that she knew about and she was very good at making sales over the phone. She told me all of this while answering my questions and said that she she had called three job agencies to find out how much someone with her skills could be paid to be nice. She told me that she was now worth between $1,500 and $1,600 a month. She also said that's how much I would have to pay to get someone else to do her job. I knew she was right as she talked.

I also knew that it would cost more money and cause more trouble to try to replace her than the raise she was asking for. I hired her as a junior secretary and paid her $850 a month. After seeing how hard she worked, I raised her a pay to $1,000 a month. I knew she wanted another raise, so I was going to give her an extra $150 a month. That would bring her to $1,150, which is almost a 40% raise in just six months. She told me that she hoped and felt that she she was worth more money now that she was more useful.

I told her I agreed and would give her an extra $150. She smiled and thanked me for thinking about it. When the questions came, she explained all this to me and said she had asked three different employment agencies to find out how much a person with her skills could be worth. She very politely and kindly informed me that she was now worth between $1,500 $1,600 a month and continued to say that if she wanted to replace her, that's what she would have to pay if she left the market.

As she spoke, I realized she was right. I also realized that if I tried to replace it, the cost and confusion would be much higher than the raise she was asking for. Then she told me that a $150 raise wouldn't be enough. She told me her reasons and said that we had when she started six months ago, since she bought a computer and went to classes in the evenings and on the weekends, she learned how to use it quite well. She also learned the basic accounting of our company and by practicing constantly, increased her typing speed to about 70 words per minute.

She had learned several of our products and had proven to be very capable of making telephone sales. Although it was much more than I had decided to give, I realized I had no choice but to give in and agree to increase her salary from $1,000 a month to $1,500 a month. Not only did she almost double her income in six months and get a 50% raise just in this meeting, but it was worth every penny and I didn't mind giving it to her at all. After that, I learned that most companies don't mind giving a raise as long as the worker can explain why they deserve it and show that the raise is worth it.

Think carefully about the timing of any negotiation, and remember that patience almost always tends to work in your favor. Here's an important point. Whenever you present people with something new or an unexpected alternative, be willing to give them a couple of days to think about it. Encourage them to mentally review the new price or terms and conditions and let them come back to you. If you're patient. People who may be initially opposed to your suggestion often fully accept it if you give them a little time.

If you followed the steps correctly up to this point and demonstrated to the other person how you can help them get what they want, you are now ready to ask for action. You can now ask the person for what you want and what you need. All you have to do is ask. You will cross home plate boldly and expectantly for the things you want. Once you have rounded the bases, though, this last stage seems clear-cut. Research from Columbia University shows that half of sales presentations finish without the seller asking the consumer to make any decisions. They just thank them for their time and go, hoping to return another day.

You need to tune into their wavelength and discover what they need, want, or what problems they have that you can help solve before you can expect them to want to help you achieve your goals. Once you've established a good relationship and identified the issues and needs through questioning, you're in a position to present solutions and benefits. These are ways you can assist the other person in meeting their needs or resolving their problems. My friend Zig Ziglar says you can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want. And he's absolutely right.

All of this can be done before or after work or even during lunch. If you have another job, you should tell the person making the decision what you've learned about the business and why you want to work for them in this particular job. Briefly describe the job you want and explain why you think you would be great at it. Describe what you could bring to the company and why they should hire you for this job. For a company to hire you, you need to show them that they can make or save more money by having you on staff. A young woman who had worked in my office for six months told me she wanted to talk to me about her pay. About three years ago, I had hired her as a junior secretary for $850 a month, and as she had worked so hard and done well, I had also increased her salary to $1,000 a month. I knew she wanted another raise and was planning to give her an additional $150 per month, which would bring her to $1,150, almost a 40% increase in just six months.

When we sat down to talk how she felt she deserved more money now because she had become more valuable. The second small thing to talk about when looking for a job is the perks package as a whole. The job pays for the car, gives holidays, paid breaks, sick days, health insurance, and dental insurance. The third thing that's just as important is what your exact job and duties are. In what way will you be trained? What kind of help or support are you going to get? What are the little things that will affect your ability to do a great job at your job? It's best to make sure you understand these things before you start because they can get tricky later on. I knew I had no choice but to give in and agree to raise her salary from $1,000 a month to $1,500 a month, even though it was a lot more than I had planned to give.

Not only did she almost double her income in six months, but she also got a 50% raise just from this meeting. I didn't mind giving her the extra money. She was worth it. I learned later that most companies don't mind giving a raise as long as the worker can explain why the raise is fair. And here's a rule regarding negotiation. I agreed and told her I would give her a $150 raise. She smiled kindly and thanked me for considering it. But then she explained that a $150 raise wouldn't be enough. She gave her reasons.

She told me that when when she started six months ago, we bought a computer and she learned how to use it very well by going to classes in the evenings and on the weekends. She had also learned basic accounting for our business and had gotten better at typing by practicing all the time. Now she can type about 70 words per minute. This rule simply states that there are basically four issues to decide in any negotiation. There is one major or central issue, and there are three smaller issues. Once you've agreed on the salary, you need to reach agreement on three more issues.

The first issue is your next salary increase when it arrives and what you can do to earn it. Ask for a specific performance standard or specific time period. The second minor issue in negotiating a job is the total benefits package. The job includes car expenses, medical insurance, dental insurance, holidays, paid vacations, sick days, etcetera. One important question to ask is, what's the best deal I can get today if I buy it? Learn as much as you can about that person. Talk to people who have done business with them before and ask what they think and how you can improve your negotiations.

The fact that you know of other options besides this discussion may be the most important piece of information you have. One important rule for being successful and happy in life is to have as many choices as possible. In order to bargain in your best interests, you should not have more than one choice. And the third, equally important issue is your exact role and responsibilities. What kind of training will you receive? What kind of support or assistance will be provided to you? What are all the peripheral details that will affect your ability to do your job excellently? These are things that are helpful to be clear about before you begin because they can often become confusing later.

A young woman who had worked in my office for six months told me she wanted to talk to me about her pay about three years ago. But you will get a much better deal if you have thought of a number of choices, not just for this negotiation, but also for other ways to solve your problems, you should be able to get up and leave during any discussion. That's one of your best skills. However, you have less negotiating power when you really want to buy or sell something and don't have many other options. Great traders know how to balance wanting to get what they want with not caring about whether the deal works out or not.

From time to time, you will get better at getting what you want, and each time you do, you will feel more successful than ever. As we come to the end of our discussion on how to influence others, let us move on to a deeper knowledge. Remember that real power doesn't come from forcing or coercing people to do what you want. It comes from building real relationships based on trust, empathy and connection with those around us. It's about setting a good example, getting people to act based on shared values, and giving them the tools they need to reach their full potential. Another form of power in negotiation is timing.

You should carefully consider exactly when you will sit down to negotiate. For example, in organizations that operate monthly and have sales targets to meet, you can always negotiate your best deal in the last days of the month. In the early days of the month, there is very little urgency to reach agreements or make concessions. But as the deadline approaches to meet monthly quotas, those in charge of sales in any organization become more anxious to cut deals and close deals whenever possible.

Let us keep working for leadership that makes everyone better and creates a brighter future for everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read and share. I hope that the lessons you learned today help you be more successful, empathetic and influential in every part of your life, whatever the list price was, he would offer 60% in cash immediately, no questions asked about the house. And it's true that he was turned down 99 out of 100 times. But by persisting calmly, he ended up buying house after house, each of which he could mortgage for more than the purchase price, rent them out and eventually resell them later at a much higher price.

Many people are unhappy with their jobs but have no idea how to change, and since they have little or no savings, they fear losing the job they have. Finally understand that no deal is final. If you want to get what you want to, you should be ready to go back and start negotiating again. If things change and you are no longer happy with the terms and conditions of the deal, you should be ready to take a step back and offer changes that will make the deal better for everyone, but especially for you. As we've already said, do your study, plan ahead, work in a structured way, and don't be afraid to ask questions.

This is especially important when trying to persuade influencers or negotiate with someone. When you buy or sell something, make it a habit to ask for a better deal, better terms, better conditions or better prices. Ask for a better job with more responsibility, a higher salary or different perks. Ask for chances to do things. Get your customers to buy. Try to get better deals from your providers. Any offer they make you should always be seen as an opening deal and don't take it the first time. Ask for something better. These things will happen better if you ask more. Plus, the better you do, the happy and more sure of yourself you'll be, and the better you'll be able to get what you want in every part of your life.

Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation, Self-Confidence, Persuasion Skills, Influence, Achievemore