Larry Carino, a seasoned publicist with three decades of experience in the food, beverage, and hospitality industries, shares his journey into public relations, expressing his initial disbelief when invited to share his insights. Despite this hesitance, he embraces the significance of storytelling, which he sees as an essential element that drives sincere connections in any industry. Drawing on his mentor's advice, Larry accentuates that beyond the glamour and surface-level allure of public relations, the essence lies in unearthing and communicating authentic stories that anchor people to a shared human experience.

Larry recounts a pivotal moment when the weight of storytelling fully struck him. During a consulting moment with a restaurateur focused on aesthetics, Larry shifted the focus to the team’s genuine narratives. He discovered a compelling story from a pastry chef about overcoming a life-altering accident, which became the hook that transformed the restaurant's brand communication. This experience highlights the vital role of finding the "hook" in storytelling, something deep and personal that resonates with people's real lives, proving that genuine stories foster genuine connections and drive success.

Main takeaways from the video:

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Key Vocabularies and Common Phrases:

1. publicist [ˈpʌbləsɪst] - (noun) - A professional responsible for managing public figures, brands, or entities' communications with the public and media. - Synonyms: (press agent, promoter, public relations specialist)

For the last 30 years, I've been working as a publicist with a focus in the food and beverage and hospitality industries.

2. hospitality [ˌhɑːspɪˈtæləti] - (noun) - The friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers. - Synonyms: (welcome, friendliness, warmth)

...working as a publicist with a focus in the food and beverage and hospitality industries.

3. mentor [ˈmɛntɔːr] - (noun) - An experienced and trusted advisor who provides guidance and support. - Synonyms: (adviser, guide, counselor)

The woman who laid the foundation for my career and mentored me gave me a very unqualified 20 year old a shot.

4. vibrant [ˈvaɪbrənt] - (adjective) - Full of energy and enthusiasm; lively and vivid. - Synonyms: (lively, energetic, dynamic)

I fell in love with something that was really vibrant and cool and interesting and fun.

5. chronology [krəˈnɒlədʒi] - (noun) - The sequential order in which past events occur. - Synonyms: (timeline, order, sequence)

And it's all chronology and it's not that interesting

6. intrinsic [ɪnˈtrɪnzɪk] - (adjective) - Belonging naturally; essential and inherent. - Synonyms: (inherent, innate, essential)

But if everyone believes that there is some intrinsic truth and goodness and import in their stories, how much better is it for us as humans, but also as business people...

7. empower [ɪmˈpaʊər] - (verb) - To give someone the authority or power to do something; to make someone stronger and more confident. - Synonyms: (authorize, enable, equip)

And what Will did and empowered his team to do was to say, listen intently and figure out what this information can do for you, for us, for the business.

8. narrative [ˈnærətɪv] - (noun) - A spoken or written account of connected events; a story. - Synonyms: (story, tale, chronicle)

But what he did with this information was, is he figured out how to take these kernels of story information, understanding that he was having but a brief moment in the narrative arc of a human life, as we all are right now, and then we'll go do something else after this

9. humanistic [ˌhjuːməˈnɪstɪk] - (adjective) - Pertaining to or reflecting the principles or methods of humanism, emphasizing human welfare and values. - Synonyms: (empathetic, compassionate, humane)

Whether it's from a humanistic standpoint or from a business standpoint, it can be.

10. spectacular [spɛkˈtækjʊlər] - (adjective) - Impressively large, grand, or sensational; dramatic. - Synonyms: (breathtaking, amazing, impressive)

And what they ended up doing is they used these to create these really spectacular, unexpected, magical moments that left people really agog.

How listening helps you tell a better story - Larry Carrino - TEDxNewRiver

The only instruction, they said, is stay in the circle. I'm going to do my best. Of course they would send out a publicist to warm out, warm up a cold room. So I'll do my job. Thank you everybody. It's a pleasure to be here. My name is Larry Carino, and For the last 30 years I've been working as a publicist with a focus in the food and beverage and hospitality industries. And understanding that when they invited me to talk today, my initial reaction was, you have the wrong guy. I mean, I'm the guy you call when you want to talk about pizza trends and what is going to be the new kale in the new year. Not exactly earth shattering stuff, I'll grant you, but it is my stuff and I love it.

But the fact of the matter is that the reason why I ended up falling in love with public relations was two pronged. Was number one was the people that I worked with, restaurants, chefs, hoteliers, people of vision, creativity, passion, a little bit of madness. And you think about all the amazing times you've had in restaurants or bars, maybe some of the memories at bars you'd like to forget, but hotels where you felt really taken care of and the magic of that. And so it was easy a little bit to fall in love with pr because I fell in love with something that was really vibrant and cool and interesting and fun. But the deeper truth is this, is that the reason why public relations and I clicked 30 years ago when the woman who laid the foundation for my career and mentored me gave me a very unqualified 20 year old a shot was because I fell in love with story and the power of a good story.

And what are the elements of that and how is that for no matter what industry you're in, no matter what you're doing in this life, how is that applicable to you? Because when you drill down past the BS and the noise, what is that? Authentic. And God knows that word is being beaten into the ground and overused. But what is the heart of what it is that you're doing? And I think back on when Susan Brussman, my mentor, allowed me at a very young age. And allowed is the word, it wasn't necessarily an invitation. She said, come listen to me, make some phone calls. And this is when back in the day before the Internet, because apparently I'm old now, is that there was no emails. It was a kind of a script. Your creativity, your ideas in a Rolodex, the flippy thing on the desk for those who don't Know what the hell that is?

And I watched Susan talking to a client and helping them find, as they wanted her to help them find their story. And it was more than just the window dressing and the glitter and the glamour. And don't get me wrong, I'm a publicist, not a monk. I'm all about glitter and glamour. But what Susan, who was an amazing writer and journalist and storyteller, tried to impart to the client was that when you strip away all of that noise, what is it that is going to connect you to other people? There's the power of a good story. Yours, mine, everyone's. But there's also the reception of that story. Because if they say a tree falls in the tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, does it actually make a sound?

Well, if there's no one to hear your story, it's basically dead in a vacuum. So watching Susan be able to do that for someone and successfully do that for someone over years, that's when it clicked for me. Where I go, this is what I want to do. Because I always love telling stories, whether they were mine or someone else's or even ones I made up. That plays a part as well in pr. But anyway, so who are you and what is it that you're trying to bring to the table? What is it that you're trying to deliver? What good are you trying to do in the community? Why do you get up every day? If you are, and I hope you are, in a job, in a profession that speaks to your soul, why do you get up to do what you do every day and what makes you different and what makes your approach different.

And it's not about comparing and contrasting. And I can tell you, as a PR guy, comparing, contrasting is a zero sum game. It never wins. It's not enough to say, well, they do really good work, but I do better work. They only serve. They only have five types of ice cubes at my bar. I have seven types of ice cubes at my bar. Fabulous. Congratulations on all the ice cubes, by and large. That window dressing, when you strip it away, it's temporary. And connection to story and the truths of those stories is what I truly believe and what I try to do every day and impart to clients and to the people that I'm blessed to work with every day, what we're trying to do.

And so if that moment with Susan, watching her make this magic happen, if that was where I realized that a job that I took as a 20 year old to make money was actually now going to be a career. And neither she nor I could have been more surprised by that revelation. The moment which I'll illuminate with a story, of course, is the moment where it clicked for me was a restaurateur who had hired us to make a big deal out of his restaurant. Million restaurants open every day, particularly now more than ever, I'm sure they open 16 by the time in the seven minutes I've been on stage.

And he had all these visions about, well, you have to understand, I've got the most wonderful tablecloths, and the lighting is just right, and it's all very sexy. And I go, yes, it is. It is. But that's not enough. That's not the heart of why anyone should care about this place and what you're doing. It's window dressing. So what I ended up asking him was to allow me to sit down with his team and listen to their stories. Because somewhere, I was sure within this conversation, because listening is just as important as being able to regale with a tail, is to be able to listen and then find those kernels, those little golden nuggets.

And this is what I'm paid to do, ostensibly, is to go, okay. And so listening to the culinary team tell their story. And I'm listening. I'm going, okay. It's. This is interesting. And this is how they met one another. But it wasn't, as a client once said to me, it wasn't hugging me. And I can tell you that one client, quick aside, he made me pitch him him. And it was a terrible experience because he wanted to hear how I was going to, and it was within his rights. But I had never had someone tell me about themselves and say, now you go.

And as I told him, I watched his face droop, and he said, no. And I go, why? I had gotten it all right. He goes, it's not hugging me. I go, what the hell? And in my head, I'm thinking, what the hell is this guy talking about in real life? I went, hmm, interesting. So I went to his business partner seeking insights, and I go. He goes, how did it go with Rodrigo? I said. He says, it's not hugging him. And he goes, I don't know what the hell he's talking about. Half the time, I just cook. Good luck. But the more I worried with that, it made sense eventually. And I went back and I talked to him, and he goes, he's hugging me now. You got it.

So I'm sitting there with those chefs, and they're telling me this. And it's all chronology and it's not that interesting. Until the pastry chef, who really hadn't been saying much at this point, goes, well, there was that time I got hit in the face by a car. And I went, well, now, let's talk about this. Go on. If nothing else, it's going to be an interesting story, but where it went is where it landed for me. And as he proceeded to tell me, as a young man, he had been a skater punk, as he described it, and one day took a spill and literally went into the street and got hit by a car. Not hit by a car, hit by a car in the face.

And God bless. Not only did he not die, which was a miracle, and had no brain damage, he looked amazing. And so if there's any plastic surgeons, brain surgeons in the audience, I mean, you're doing God's work, people. I mean, he was fully functional and still dateable. But he then said, I lost the ability to smell and taste for a protracted period of time, to the point where I gave up on it. And one day I took a bite of chocolate just out of habit, and my brain lit up. I could taste it. And if you think about any of you who had the loss of taste and smell after Covid and that first time, maybe you had a bowl of soup or something, you go, it's back, baby.

But what he said was, it blew his mind. It was like. What he said was, it was like trying chocolate for the first time as a kid, but this time being blessed enough to remember the sensation, the first scoop of ice cream. And I remember the first time I gave my youngest a piece of bacon. And his eyes lit up like a slot machine. And he looked at me like, where have you been keeping this magic fat man? He loves bacon to this day. But I digress. And he said that moment, he decided he was going to stop doing what he was doing, which blissfully, was skating, and he was going to be a pastry chef because he wanted to replicate for other people that magic moment.

And I said, that's a great story. That's the story. That's the way in. That's the hook. And the restaurateur was, what about the tablecloths and the sexy music? I go, yeah, yeah, that's all great. What's going to happen is people are going to connect to this story in a human way. And the proof was in the pudding. No pun intended, I'm happy to say, because when he allowed me to start telling the story about the team and how they all came together and tell that story about what Max went through. People were coming into the restaurant not to see the amazing chef who got put back together after the car wreck, but because they read an article in a paper.

And this was back in the days when you used to have to wait for the newspaper to get news pre Internet. I'm old, so. And it worked. And people came in because they connected in a real genuine way. And that moment wouldn't have happened for me, forget about my abilities or skills at creatively and provocatively and strategically telling that story to the right people. But that moment wouldn't have happened for me either if I hadn't been opening to really listening. And that to me is the second half of the power of story. Because. Because we all believe, because we are the center of our own universe and we are the star of our own show.

But if everyone believes that there is some intrinsic truth and goodness and import in their stories, how much better is it for us as humans, but also as business people who are trying to succeed, who are trying to excel, and who are trying to differentiate ourselves and yourselves from the competition, no matter what you do. How much listening can make a difference. The restaurateur Will Gudera wrote this beautiful book called Unreasonable hospitality. And even if you don't give two flips about the restaurant business, I thoroughly suggest it's an amazing read because what it's about is the practices that you can put into work. And I'm not a big self help person, but because it was the industry, I was drawn to this and it was a great recommend from a friend.

But what he talked about is the power of listening. And one of the things that he did that made or helped make his restaurant at the time eleven Madison park, the number one restaurant in the world, was listening to his clients and not to their face in the sense of he would interact and he would take in, but it was about listening to the things they were saying when they didn't realize they were saying things that were important to him. Some of it was eavesdropping as people gossiped at tables, but still it was an applicable lesson. But what he did with this information was, is he figured out how to take these kernels of story information, understanding that he was having but a brief moment in the narrative arc of a human life, as we all are right now, and then we'll go do something else after this.

But what Will did and empowered his team to do was to say, listen intently and figure out what this information can do for you, for us, for the business. And what they ended up doing is they used these to create these really spectacular, unexpected, magical moments that left people really agog. How did you know? Oh, we have our ways. Well, because you talk loud and you had a bottle of wine and we listened. And the lesson of that resonated very much with me and I hope will resonate with you. Because as you are interacting with people, if we're supposed to go into the world with open hearts, open minds and open ears, and that's not always the case, but if we do that not only as human beings, but also as business professionals, you think about how much more successful you might be, how much that connection to other people, particularly when they don't think that you're really listening, how much that could mean.

And I'm sure everyone in this room has been, God help us all at professional networking events. And I don't know anyone, if anyone here really loves those. God bless you. But I feel like the majority of people do them because it is the most directly beneficial way, maybe to meet customers, maybe to make connections, et cetera. But how many times have you gone to these events and while you're in the midst of meeting and greeting and you've got your name tag slightly askew and you're worried that there's shrimp toast in your teeth and you're trying to make connections, but you're so busy ramping up your launchpad for what you want to talk about that people are saying things and it's not sticking.

And what I would suggest is if you can flip that script a little bit, understanding that what you have to say is very important to you, but what these people have to say to you is what's important to them. And particularly, I would imagine in the medical field when you're dealing with people who are the client, shall we say, and are going through a particularly traumatic or difficult moment, you have a level of expertise that you're bringing to the table and they are there with much greater stakes than what I deal with on a day to day basis, because someone only got three stars instead of four, and their life is going to go on, they're going to be okay.

But the idea that a patient, a client, really believes that you're listening because you actually are, because you have put yourself a little bit on the back burner in order to actively listen to what they're telling you, what is going on in their life, what is their fear, what drives them, what do they need? And if you could apply that just a little bit how much more beneficial. Whether it's from a humanistic standpoint or from a business standpoint, it can be. There's an amazing power in story. You just have to listen for it. Knowing how to tell it's good too, but you have to know how to listen to it. But what do I know? I'm just a guy up here telling you stories. Thank you.

Public Relations, Storytelling, Communication, Leadership, Business, Inspiration, Tedx Talks