The speech addresses the root of insecurities, highlighting that they do not stem from birth but rather from exposing oneself to situations where thoughts from others can conflict with one's self-identity. The speaker discusses how insecurities manifest and persist in a simplistic manner through the 'bubble theory,' suggesting that each negative experience can grow into a bubble of insecurity that expands if not addressed.

This discussion outlines how these insecurity bubbles develop and grow due to factors such as rejection and comparison, which are prevalent under the influence of social media and societal expectations. The speech stresses the importance of recognizing when these bubbles first appeared and how they have been fed by recurrent negative experiences.

Main takeaways from the speech include:

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Key Vocabularies and Common Phrases:

1. insecurities [ˌɪnsɪˈkjʊrətiz] - (n.) - Feelings of uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. - Synonyms: (doubts, anxieties, apprehensions)

And that is a big issue when it comes to insecurities.

2. nostalgia [nɑːˈstæl.dʒə] - (n.) - A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations. - Synonyms: (longing, reminiscence, sentimentality)

Now, when you hear the words bubble theory, I feel like you get a hit of nostalgia.

3. trivial [ˈtrɪviəl] - (adj.) - Of little value or importance. - Synonyms: (insignificant, minor, petty)

Now, you may think this is something really trivial.

4. rejection [rɪˈdʒɛkʃən] - (n.) - The dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc. - Synonyms: (refusal, dismissal, non-acceptance)

The first one being the idea of rejection.

5. vulnerable [ˈvʌlnərəbl] - (adj.) - Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. - Synonyms: (susceptible, defenseless, exposed)

It is not something that all of us can easily do, right? It can be really difficult to open up because we feel like we do not want to look vulnerable to other people.

6. acceptance [əkˈsɛptəns] - (n.) - The action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered. - Synonyms: (consent, agreement, approval)

acceptance. What do I mean by acceptance? The idea about acceptance is not about being accepted by others, but rather about how you need to learn to accept yourself.

7. respect [rɪˈspɛkt] - (v.) - To admire someone or something deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements. - Synonyms: (admire, esteem, honor)

You need to respect yourself and that is a major takeaway.

8. milestones [ˈmaɪlˌstoʊnz] - (n.) - Significant points in development or progress. - Synonyms: (landmarks, achievements, breakthroughs)

Suddenly, all the accomplishments we have don't look like things that are really accomplishments anymore. They feel like just simple milestones that we passed on in our lives.

9. beneficial [ˌbɛn.əˈfɪʃ.əl] - (adj.) - Resulting in good; favorable or advantageous. - Synonyms: (advantageous, helpful, useful)

Please keep these three checkpoints in mind because it is going to be really beneficial for you in the long run.

10. self-doubt [sɛlf daʊt] - (n.) - Lack of confidence in oneself and one's abilities. - Synonyms: (uncertainty, hesitance, insecurity)

And that thought, ladies and gentlemen, makes us have a huge level of self doubt.

How insecurities connect us - The Bubble Theory - Matheesha Bandara - TEDxYouth@GCNegombo

Ladies and gentlemen, today my speech is going to be about why I cannot speak in public. Organizing team, are you sure this is the correct presentation? Ladies and gentlemen, that is exactly how insecurities are formed. We actually gain insecurities, not because we are born with it, but because we put ourselves out there. I understand it can be quite difficult to actually put yourself out there. But the moment you do put yourself out there, you're putting yourself into the vision of thousands of people. Thousands of people that may have different thoughts and ideas about what is good or what is bad. And those ideas can clash with what you identify as yourself. You start to doubt yourself. And that is a big issue when it comes to insecurities.

Now, the other day, I was actually wondering, when I google, right when I google the term insecurity, what I get is that an insecurity is basically something that makes us anxious about ourselves. Something that actually lets us put ourselves down, make us have a huge lack of self confidence. Did you know we have about 50,000 thoughts a day? And 40,000 of those thoughts are negative? Another important fact is that almost all these thoughts are repetitive as well. So what does that mean, ladies and gentlemen? It means that we are constantly thinking about negative thoughts and we are constantly looking down upon ourselves. Even though in reality, we may just be normal human beings.

Now, this is not what my topic is about today. My topic is simply about what I like to call the bubble theory. Now, when you hear the words bubble theory, I feel like you get a hit of nostalgia. Right back when you used to blow bubbles using your bubble wand. And that was just how your day went on. No problems, nothing else in your life. Just bubbles. Just enjoying. Although you get that hit of nostalgia, my topic or my theory is not essentially about the bright side of bubbles. It is rather about how these bubbles can be defined as insecurities. We can have multiple insecurities. Sometimes we may think that we are not good enough. Sometimes we may think that what we do is pointless to the world. And why would anyone else care about what we do, right? These insecurity bubbles, they can linger in your mind for a long period of time. And when you try to pop these bubbles, they don't pop. They simply just expand. And when you try to blow these bubbles away, they just come back in much more numbers, to the point where it's overwhelming and you do not know how to escape.

These bubbles of insecurity. They have now become your life. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to ask you, when did your bubbles first appear? Was it in elementary school, was it when you actually gave a speech and you had a voice crack and everyone started laughing about you? Let me tell you my experience of how my insecurity bubble first appeared. I think I was about six or seven years old. I was given the task of actually doing a music assignment. Now, I'd like to be upfront with everyone, right? Music. It isn't really my cup of tea. I'm pretty sure you guys can assume that I'm not going to be the best singer, right? But when it comes to this music assignment, back then, that is not what I thought. I thought that I was a good singer and I was really confident about myself before I actually went up and actually had to do this assignment in front of my class.

Now, what's crazy about this is I had to sing one of the most complex songs of all time. I don't even know why the sir gave me this song because it's so difficult for me to sing it. And that song, ladies and gentlemen, was twinkle, twinkle, little star. Now, I went up on the stage, I started singing twinkle, twinkle, little star. I forgot the lyrics. The moment I forgot the lyrics, ladies and gentlemen, everybody started laughing at me. I now became the class clown, and I was always made fun of because of that. Now, you may think this is something really trivial. This is something that you can take on the bumps and just forget about the next day. But remember, this is when your first bubble appears. This is when everything starts.

What's crazy is, ladies and gentlemen, I did not really care about music or even listen to a single song until I was about 13 years of age. Not a single song. All my friends, they were listening to songs, vibing to the music, having fun, but I did not even care about it because I thought that I have nothing to do with music and that music could never be a part of my life. That right there is a major insecurity that I developed in my childhood. When did your bubbles first appear, ladies and gentlemen, think about it. Was it when you were very small? What was that key turning point of your life? That is, ladies and gentlemen, the first thing I want you all to think about.

Now, before I move on to the other two topics, I just want to let you know that I'm going to be providing you all three checkpoints. This is the first checkpoint. And why am I providing these three checkpoints? Because, as the saying goes, ladies and gentlemen, generation z has the attention span of a goldfish. Now, although I'm pretty sure most of you would not be having that attention span. It's better to be safe than sorry. So that's the first checkpoint, ladies and gentlemen. Let's move on to the next checkpoint, which is about how our bubbles grow. Did you think that these insecurity bubbles are going to remain in the same size and just be there for a while and then just go away? No, they don't just go away. They actually grow. They actually expand and they become something that is way worse than how it initially started. And that can become a big problem in our day to day lives right now.

What we have to understand here, ladies and gentlemen, is that these bubbles, they simply grow because of two major things. The first one being the idea of rejection. Now, when it comes to rejection, I feel like we all would have come across this in our lives, right? I'm pretty sure most of you can relate that someone would have told no to you, whether it be in a relationship, whether it be when you joined a competition, whatever scenario it was, someone would have said no to you. And you remember that, ladies and gentlemen, don't lie to me. You remember the times you got rejected more than the times you got accepted, because that is how our human minds work. The more you get rejected, the more people say no to you.

Your bubble grows, your bubble expands, and it becomes much more of a nuisance than what it was earlier. And rejection is not the only thing, ladies and gentlemen, that can grow your bubble. Comparison is the second thing that can grow your bubble. When it comes to comparison, I think this is not a new topic. This is something that we already know. This is something that we all relate to. We compare. If I ask you all to show a raise of hands for anyone that does not compare themselves, show your hands. If you do not compare yourselves as expected, none of you stay without comparing yourselves. All of us have compared ourselves one way or the other.

We understand that with our growing technology, we are more connected. Using social media, such as Instagram, you can see pictures of some people that are better looking than you, some people that are smarter than you, some people that are more athletic than you, some people that can speak better than you. You can see all these different types of people, and then you suddenly think, wow, I'm not as good as that person. That person is better than me. And that thought, ladies and gentlemen, makes us have a huge level of self doubt. Suddenly, all the accomplishments we have don't look like things that are really accomplishments anymore. They feel like just simple milestones that we passed on in our lives that don't really have a huge impact in the bigger picture and we don't feel safe.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a big issue when it comes to the second checkpoint, how our bubbles grow. Moving on to my last checkpoint, I know all of you are hungry, but please bear with me for a few more minutes. This is the major question. Is it possible to ever pop these bubbles? Do you think you can get rid of yourself, this burden, this continuous ignorance that is there within your minds? Ladies and gentlemen, there are two solutions. Behind these two doors are the two ways you can pop those bubbles.

Number one, that is opening up. I know opening up can be a big problem. It is not something that all of us can easily do, right? It can be really difficult to open up because we feel like we do not want to look vulnerable to other people. We always want to be the top dog. We want to be the person that is not seen as someone that is having any issues. But that is the reason why we have insecurities in the first place. If we are able to open up, if we are able to show other people that we have insecurities, maybe we would realize that we are not alone. We are not alone in the danger of an insecurity.

Everyone, ladies and gentlemen, everyone, including every one of you has an insecurity. And if we talk to one another, if we talk as a community, we would realize that we are all the same at the end of the day. So we need to learn how to open up, even if it can be really difficult. We need to make sure that we open up in order to make sure that we realize that we are normal.

And then the second though, acceptance. What do I mean by acceptance? The idea about acceptance is not about being accepted by others, but rather about how you need to learn to accept yourself when it comes to us. As Sri Lankans, we are born in a country that may not be the best when it comes to our economy and so on, so forth. But is that supposed to be a reason why we hinder ourselves? Is that supposed to be a reason why we look down upon ourselves when it comes to the comparisons between Europeans, Americans, etcetera? Should that be a reason why you don't succeed? No.

The thing that we don't actually do is we don't really respect ourselves. We don't accept ourselves for who we are. So ladies and gentlemen, please realize we need to accept ourselves. Maybe you have certain solutions to your insecurities. Maybe you can develop yourself and slowly remove those insecurities. But before all of that, you need to understand where you stand. You need to respect yourself and that is a major takeaway that I would like to make you all actually have with this speech here today.

Before I wrap up, I would like to basically remind you about the three checkpoints. Checkpoint number one, when did your bubbles first appear? Checkpoint number two, how do your bubbles grow? And checkpoint number three, how can you pop your bubbles? Please keep these three checkpoints in mind because it is going to be really beneficial for you in the long run. I want you all to remember this. When it comes to insecurities, you could make these insecurities your entire life, or you could make these insecurities a small part of your life.

Whether you do that or not, it's completely up to you. We need to remember, right, that without a torch of insecurity, we would not be able to see past the shadows we walk in. Nor would we be able to see through the light that shines. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope that you would take these key checkpoints I mentioned today. And maybe, just maybe, by popping your insecurity bubbles, you could just make your day a little bit brighter. Thank you very much.

Philosophy, Motivation, Inspiration, Self-Acceptance, Insecurity Management, Personal Growth, Tedx Talks