The video explores the importance of communication skills and offers guidance for introverts on effectively interacting with others. It underlines the significance of mastering communication abilities in both personal and professional spheres, asserting that enhanced communication can lead to transformative changes in an individual's life.

The speaker provides practical strategies to help manage the anxiety and fear often associated with being an introvert, such as the fear of rejection. Techniques like desensitizing fear through consistent exposure, focusing on the needs of others, and gradual steps towards confidence-building in social situations are shared to empower viewers to become better communicators.

Main takeaways from the video:

Please remember to turn on the CC button to view the subtitles.

Key Vocabularies and Common Phrases:

1. introvert [ˈɪn.trə.vɜːt] - (n.) - A person who tends to turn inward mentally and is often shy; prefers solitary activities. - Synonyms: (loner, shy person, solitary)

But because you are an introvert and you fear rejection and you're scared of saying the wrong thing and you get really anxious around new people, then it makes it infinitely more difficult to be comfortable around others.

2. desensitize [diːˈsɛn.sɪ.taɪz] - (v.) - Make less sensitive; diminish the emotional responsiveness to a negative or positive stimulus after repeated exposure. - Synonyms: (numb, deaden, dull)

You can desensitize the fear of rejection by going out there and getting 20 no's.

3. ambivert [ˈæm.bɪ.vɜːt] - (n.) - A person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features. - Synonyms: (balanced, mixed, flexible)

I believe I'm an ambivert. I'm both an introvert and an extrovert.

4. rejection [rɪˈdʒɛk.ʃən] - (n.) - The dismissing or refusal of a proposal, idea, etc. - Synonyms: (dismissal, refusal, non-acceptance)

One of the main reasons why introverts find it difficult to meet new people is not only because they're an introvert, they also fear judgment, they fear rejection.

5. anxiety [æŋˈzaɪ.ə.ti] - (n.) - A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. - Synonyms: (worry, unease, nervousness)

They get a lot of anxiety when they're around new people.

6. desperation [ˌdɛs.pəˈreɪ.ʃən] - (n.) - A state of despair, typically one that results in rash or extreme behavior. - Synonyms: (hopelessness, despair, distress)

There's almost this sense of desperation that you want people to accept you.

7. priming [ˈpraɪ.mɪŋ] - (n.) - The action of preparing someone for a specific situation or outcome. - Synonyms: (preparation, initiation, preparation)

And I've gotten emails, and this is from men, I've gotten emails from my male students where they saying, oh my goodness, Vin, that priming thing was amazing because when I came home to my wife and I said to her, I said, hey, honey, I've, I've realized that when I come home, I'm so flat with my communication, I'm so flat with my voice and I'm so flat with my energy

8. rapport [ræpˈɔːr] - (n.) - A close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other's feelings or ideas and communicate well. - Synonyms: (accord, affinity, relationship)

Vin, isn't one upping a rapport building technique?

9. eloquent [ˈɛl.ə.kwənt] - (adj.) - Fluent or persuasive in speaking or writing. - Synonyms: (articulate, expressive, silver-tongued)

That's how you can do that eloquently, as opposed to, hey, I got a jet ski. Oh, yeah? Well, I got a yacht.

10. masterclass [ˈmæstərˌklæs] - (n.) - A class taught by someone who has an expert knowledge or skill in a particular area, especially for highly talented students. - Synonyms: (advanced class, seminar, workshop)

I'm running a free two hour masterclass titled unlock your voice, unlock your potential.

33 Minutes Of Communication Skills Advice I Wish I Knew In My 20s

It's a multi billion dollar industry where speakers get paid a ridiculous amount of money. Why? It's because this is one of the most valuable skills in the world. Anytime you see a video of mine pop up, let it be a trigger in your mind to go, hey, you still working on your communication skills? Because I hope I don't need to remind you again that this is the most valuable skill in the world. Master this skill and inject one of the most valuable skill sets in the world into your lives personally and into your life professionally.

I'm an introvert. Do you have any advice on how to increase my comfort levels around others? I've got a bit of an interesting take on this answer. Some people might not agree with me. I believe I'm an ambivert. I'm both an introvert and an extrovert. Used to be an extrovert, but then as a result of my career path, I'm surrounded by people all the time. It's actually turned me from an extrovert into an introvert. It's weird. I find that for introverts and because I've got so many students who are introverts, I've been able to see this pattern. One of the main reasons why introverts find it difficult to meet new people is not only because they're an introvert, they also fear judgment, they fear rejection. They get a lot of anxiety when they're around new people, and they're also scared of saying the wrong thing.

There are so many other things that are attached to being an introvert than just being an introvert. Because if you were just an introvert and you didn't fear rejection and you didn't get anxiety around people and you didn't fear saying the wrong thing, if you. If you were just an introvert and you didn't have any of the other things, I reckon you'd be fine speaking to people, you'd do great. But because you are an introvert and you fear rejection and you're scared of saying the wrong thing and you get really anxious around new people, then it makes it infinitely more difficult to be comfortable around others and to be a great communicator around others.

So what I believe is you don't want to go, I don't want to be an introvert anymore. I want to be an extrovert now. I don't really believe it's that possible to change whether or not you're an introvert easily. I think what's better is to manage all the other symptoms, to manage all the other things. I think it's much easier to manage fear of rejection. I think it's much easier to manage the anxiety around new people. And I think it's much easier to. To manage that part of your brain that's always wanting to be perfect. I think that's way easier to try to manage as compared to say to yourself, I don't want to be an introvert anymore.

Now, how do you do this? How do you manage the other things? For example, if you fear rejection, desensitize it. I mean it. desensitize it. And this will sound crazy to some of you. I've done some of this, and I'm gonna give you context. I'm gonna give you context behind this answer. When I first learned magic, I thought magic tricks were the most amazing thing in the world. I thought, wow, everybody must love magic. This is crazy. This is the coolest art form in the world. And then I went out into the city because I wanted to practice magic on real people. I didn't want to just practice magic in my room by myself in front of a mirror all the time.

I remember this. It was a Friday night. I went to the city for the first time, and I was so excited. I'm like, oh, I can't wait to bring joy and astonishment and amazement to people's lives. So I stood there in the city with a couple of my friends, and I walked up to a random stranger, and I said, hey, can I show you a magic trick? And they're like, no, get away from me. I was like, wait, wait. What? What? You. But what? And I felt crushed, right? I was really naive, and I just couldn't believe people didn't want to see magic. And then just that first rejection caused me to fear rejection. I didn't fear rejection before that. And then the moment that happened, now I was so scared of rejection.

Now, I didn't perform magic for people for months after that because I feared rejection so much. And the fear of rejection stopped me from going out for months to perform magic for people. So I continued to perform magic in my room by myself for the mirror. And gradually, I realized that I needed to desensitize the fear of rejection. Otherwise, I'm never going to be able to spread this beautiful gift that I've. That I've discovered magic. Right? So I had to desensitize it. How do you desensitize it? Got back out there, and my goal was no longer to perform magic. I took a step back. My goal was to get 20 people to say no to me. Yep.

Just got. I just said to myself, all right, it's a Friday night. The goal here, Vin, is to ask 20 people if they want to see magic. And you want to get 20 no's because the goal is not to perform magic tonight. And if you do, well, lucky you. But the goal is to desensitize the fear of rejection. And then I would go out to the city and I would get rejected time and time and time and time again. And to my surprise, out of every ten people I asked, three people said yes. And it was so beautiful because I started to learn that, oh, wow, people are not saying no to me, right? They're not saying no to even magic. Sometimes, sometimes people are just busy and that's okay.

I stopped taking the no's personally and I started to fully desensitize the fear of rejection. You should have seen me after twelve months of doing this. I had no problems going up to people asking if they wanted to see magic. And here's the interesting part that starts to happen as you reduce the fear of rejection. When you go up to people and ask people questions, you no longer have this. There's almost this sense of desperation that you want people to accept you. When you fear rejection, when you feel rejection, you walk up to you, people are like, oh, you know, is that okay if I show you a trick?

The fear of rejection reeks and it smells and people can feel it and sense it. Whereas when I no longer had the fear of rejection, I came across so much more confident instead of, excuse me, like, I don't know if you have time, you must be busy. Can I show you a piece of magic? Instead of that? It's like, have I performed for you yet this evening? I haven't. I've got to show you this. Hold your hand like this and you go straight into it. There's a difference there. So again, all I'm saying here is as an introvert, you can desensitize the fear of rejection by going out there and getting 20 no's.

And you're probably thinking, bhavin, I don't perform magic. It's time to get creative. Next time you're in the line to get coffee, ask if you can get the coffee for free. I know, this is crazy, right? This is a little strategy I learned, I remember from Tim Ferriss. Well, just ask the barista. Just go. What are the chances I can get this coffee for free? Just ask and you'll be shocked. What happens. I've done this so many times. And I love to do this when I'm in a different city, just so that I don't, I don't ruin the relationships with my existing cafes that I love in south Australia.

But you just ask, hey, what are the chances I can get this coffee for free? And it's. It's so amazing the number of times that the barista just literally just looks at me and says, oh, if you like us on social media, I'll give you a cup of coffee for free. If you do a post on your social media, I'll give you a cup of coffee for free. So all of a sudden, you desensitize the fear of rejection as you do this, right? Because a lot of the times people will say no, and you realize it's not the end of the world. Then you stop taking it personally, and then on top of that, you get free coffee from time to time.

Now, the next thing that you can desensitize is you can also desensitize the fear of saying the wrong thing. It's. It's crazy how the brain wants to get everything perfect. Your brain just thinks, oh, my goodness, I've made a mistake. I'm such an idiot. But in reality, other people don't care. They don't. No one is perfect. The brain's desire for perfection is such a. Such a dangerous desire. So as you desensitize the fear of rejection, you also learn that no one knows what they're doing, nobody does. Everyone's just trying their best, and they're making it up as they go. You've just got to give yourself some grace.

The last thing I'll say is the anxiety of meeting new people, going out there and get 20 no's. It also desensitizes that anxiety and come up with different strategies for yourself. The one that is going to help you reduce the anxiety when you're meeting new people is very simple. That one is okay, you've got a new KPI that you have to hit every single day. You have to say hello to three new people every single day. And the first time you do it, it's just a simple hello. So level one of this is, hi, good morning. Walk on. Level two of that is, hi, good morning, how are you? That's it.

Level three of that is, hi, good morning, how are you? Hey, beautiful shirt. I love it. That's hi, how are you? Combined with a compliment. Right? And then after that, level four is, hi, how are you? Beautiful shirt. Hey, could you recommend a great cafe close by? Do you know any? See what I'm doing here, and then just continue. And you can, you can be as creative as you want, but what you're trying to do here is desensitize the anxiety when it comes to meeting new people. Got a feather in my throat.

Now, if you're able to use all these strategies to reduce all of the other components, if you're able to reduce the fear of rejection, you're able to reduce that anxiety. When you're meeting new people, if you start to calm that part of your brain down that's always trying to be perfect all the time and value progress over perfection, as you start to manage that, then all of a sudden, even as an introvert, you'll still be great around people. So don't, don't think to yourself that, oh, I'm an introvert. I'm not good around people.

Trust me. I know extroverts who have the fear of rejection, who have the fear of saying something wrong, who have anxiety around meeting new people. I know extroverts who are terrible around people. So don't just sit there and think to yourself, oh, just because I'm an introvert, I'm not going to be able to be comfortable around others. That's not true. It's not about, it's not just the introvert thing, okay? There are many other things attached to it. Manage these other things, and then you can still thrive. When meeting new people as an introvert, you've got a couple of strategies there now that you've actually got to apply.

And here's the crazy part. If you actually apply the things that I just said, that's going to completely change your level of confidence. One of the things that levels up confidence more than anything is desensitizing the fear of rejection and being able to approach others.

Vin, there's something that I do called one upping when I'm talking to my friends. So sometimes when I talk to my friends, they'll say something, and then I'll say, oh, yeah, but I've got something better. Vin, isn't one upping a rapport building technique? Because you're showing the other person that, hey, we've got something in common. And it's a really good point that you bring up, because if you're unfamiliar with one upping, let me help you become familiar with it. The classic example is one of your friends says, oh, my goodness, I just went bungee jumping, and I had the best time of my life.

And then the moment you heard that, you go, oh, yeah, well, I actually went skydiving. And skydiving is way better. That's one upping. It's awful. I am so guilty of this. I do it all the time. But then the question here is really powerful, because isn't it important to find common ground? And when someone shares that they've done something scary, and you share, you do, you've done something scary. Doesn't that build rapporte? Yes and no. Because if you do it in the wrong way, people just kind of go, oh, yeah, well, great. Good for you. You've been skydiving. I only done bungee jumping. I guess I'm not as cool as you.

So there's an ele, there's an elegance to it. And what makes it elegant is, first of all, if one of your friends says, hey, I just got a jet ski, don't immediately jump in and going, oh, yeah, well, I got a boat. Did I tell you I got a boat? No, don't do that. Once someone shares something that excites them, and you notice their emotion is peaking, and they're like, oh, my goodness, I just bought a jet ski, Vin, to make sure that you don't one up them. And at the same time, you want to share that you also have boats, and you have the love of being out in the ocean. You ask three follow up questions about their peak emotion before you talk about the common ground.

For example, they go, oh, Vin, I just got a jet ski. I hear this, and I go, I'm gonna ask three follow up questions about the jet ski. So question number one. Oh, my goodness. Have you taken it out yet? They go, yes. Oh, my goodness. I took it out on the weekend. It was so fun, Vin. The kids were there. They loved it. You know, they were sitting on the back. It was such a great experience. And I. Second question. Did you let the kids drive it? No, no, of course. My kids are only four. Of course not. But, Vin, I gotta tell you, the way their faces lit up when I was driving them, and they were like, dad, faster, faster, faster.

The third question I'm going to ask is, I know this is a little bit of a cheeky question, but can I ask, how fast did you go on the jet ski? And then, oh, my God, Vin, we went at least 30 to 40 kilometres an hour on the ocean. I know it's 30 to 40 km, but when you're on the ocean, it felt so fast. And after you've asked those three questions, now it's okay for you to bring up the common ground. You go, oh, far out. I love that you had such a good time with the kids. I love doing that, too. You know, I've got, I've got a, I've got a boat as well, and I love going out. We've got to go out sometime together.

All of a sudden. Now, you can connect on common ground, but instead of immediately jumping in and saying, hey, I've got a boat, and talking about you, you, you, you, you, you made it about them. First, you asked three follow up questions. Then you shared your similar interest. That's how you can do that eloquently, as opposed to, hey, I got a jet ski. Oh, yeah? Well, I got a yacht. Then it's not nice at all.

Vin explains the mistakes people make trying to break old habits with people who know them. This usually results in negative reactions because changes are unexpected. Therefore, he suggests clearly communicating the intention behind these changes in advance. By priming friends, family, or colleagues, you give them context and elicit support rather than judgment.

Another tip is that if you are trying to communicate with more energy and expression, you should introduce changes gradually. Avoid making drastic changes that might shock those familiar with you. With gradual and clear changes, you cultivate a supportive environment that encourages personal growth.

People often overestimate short-term potential and underestimate long-term possibilities. By taking small, incremental steps toward improvement in communication skills over time, one can achieve significant transformation. Communication skills are highly valued and can open numerous opportunities. Utilizing these skills to spread positivity and kindness can make a profound impact on others and, by extension, the world.

Communication, Personal Development, Self Improvement, Education, Motivation, Inspiration, Vinh Giang