The video explores the profound impact our thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves have on our sense of self and life decisions. Using a personal narrative, the speaker illustrates how negative self-talk and internalized beliefs can keep us feeling stuck, stifled, and unable to move forward. The speaker shares how a recurring negative anchor—believing she was not good enough—shaped her behavior from childhood into adulthood, until she made the conscious choice to change her internal narrative to something more positive and empowering.

This is compelling because it outlines a practical, three-step process for replacing negative mental anchors with positive ones: first, identify what thoughts are holding you back and where they come from; second, discern the recurring themes or 'anchor stories' that dominate your self-talk; and third, intentionally substitute the negative anchor with a powerful, positive affirmation that can reframe your mindset. The speaker emphasizes that while this process is straightforward, changing long-held beliefs and perceptions is challenging but ultimately transformative.

Main takeaways from the video:

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Key Vocabularies and Common Phrases:

1. ingrained [ɪnˈɡreɪnd] - (adjective) - Firmly fixed or established so that it is difficult to change; deeply rooted in one's mind or habits. - Synonyms: (entrenched, embedded, deep-seated)

Because it's so ingrained in us and we can't let it go even if we want to.

2. perception [pərˈsɛpʃən] - (noun) - The way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted. - Synonyms: (view, perspective, interpretation)

And really it's all about your perception of the world.

3. visualization [ˌvɪʒuələˈzeɪʃən] - (noun) - The act of forming a mental image of something; imagining future scenarios to motivate change. - Synonyms: (mental imagery, envisioning, imagining)

So I want to share with you a really good way to help change that. And so I have helped my clients visualize into the future.

4. anchor story [ˈæŋkər ˈstɔːri] - noun (phrase) - A central narrative or belief that repeatedly influences your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, either positively or negatively. - Synonyms: (core belief, central narrative, guiding story)

And your anchor story is a lot about what are the themes that I see.

5. motivate [ˈmoʊtɪˌveɪt] - (verb) - To give someone a reason for doing something or to stimulate interest to take action. - Synonyms: (inspire, encourage, stimulate)

You have to be able to motivate yourself to make those changes.

6. recurring [rɪˈkɜːrɪŋ] - (adjective) - Happening or appearing repeatedly or periodically. - Synonyms: (repeated, continual, cyclic)

What is the theme that keeps recurring and you know when it's bad for you but you can't let it go, what is that theme and or that thought in your head?

7. suffocate [ˈsʌfəˌkeɪt] - (verb) - To feel trapped and unable to breathe, either literally or metaphorically, often due to constraints or pressure. - Synonyms: (choke, stifle, smother)

And if you're not able to do that, if you choose your negative anchors, you're going to suffocate inside the box

8. empowering [ɪmˈpaʊərɪŋ] - (adjective) - Giving someone the power, confidence, or ability to do something or take control of their life. - Synonyms: (enabling, strengthening, uplifting)

I changed it to I am good enough. And so when I did that, it changed everything... it was also helping my clients.

9. negative anchor [ˈnɛɡətɪv ˈæŋkər] - noun (phrase) - A repeated negative thought or belief that holds a person back or keeps them stuck. - Synonyms: (limiting belief, mental barrier, self-sabotage)

So what are negative anchors? Negative anchors are the ones that hold us back, the ones that keep us behind, the ones that get us stuck.

10. triggers [ˈtrɪɡərz] - (noun) - External or internal stimuli that cause a strong emotional response or recall a particular thought, memory, or behavior. - Synonyms: (cues, stimulants, activators)

So think about that every time you have triggers out there, every time the environment wants to bring you back to your negative anchor.

Reshape your internal narrative - Anda del Rosario - TEDxUPV Women

Sam, have you ever felt like a headless chicken running around, not knowing where to go and going in different directions? That's what it feels like when the environment controls you. But what if you had the power to control your environment? It all lies with our thoughts. And with our thoughts are the stories that we tell ourselves. Did you know that 80% of our thoughts are negative? That is according to Psychology Today. They wrote an article about it last 2019. And that's a scary thought, right? That 80% of our thoughts are negative. But what you need to do is to be able to control those thoughts, control the thoughts that you focus on. Over time, I have studied the power of our thoughts, and I realized that our thoughts are based on very powerful stories that we tell ourselves. And these are our positive anchors or our negative anchors.

So what are positive anchors? Positive anchors are the anchors that drive us forward, that uplift us. We also have negative anchors. So what are negative anchors? Negative anchors are the ones that hold us back, the ones that keep us behind, the ones that get us stuck. So I just want to share with you a personal story. When I was a little girl, I came across a very powerful story, a negative anchor. I felt that people were judging me. I felt that people didn't like me. I felt the need to please others. And that didn't really do anything good for me. I became very shy. I wasn't open. I was afraid. And all those things carried on until adulthood.

And what happened when I was an adult, it was like a story that you repeat to yourself over and over again. I am not good enough. And one day, I didn't want that anymore. I said, this has got to stop. Every time I think about this, every time I think about this negative anchor. And I'm sure you also have your negative anchors as well. It is not helping me anymore. So I tried to find out what is the cause of this? Where is it coming from? So if you look at an iceberg, at the tip of the iceberg is what you see. But there's something that lies underneath. And I found out that it was coming from a belief that I told myself when I was a little girl, I am not good enough. So I decided to replace that with a more powerful thought. And I said, it should be something that's just going to move me forward. So from I am not good enough, I changed it to I am good enough. And so when I did that, it changed everything. I became a happier person. I became more engaged. I built better relationships. Even my career became better. Imagine that by Changing the line in your head, the story in your head, it can change everything. And I realized that this is not only just helping me as a person, it was also helping my clients. So the same formula that I use to help myself to change my anchor, I've helped with my clients as a leadership coach. So I've helped leaders and teams change the way they think and focus on the right anchors. And you know what, the results were amazing. So what happened was they were able to also build better relationships, make better decisions, choose the right career for them. They're able to just be happier as a leader and even outside work as well.

So what I want to share with you today is a three step process that I have used for myself and for the leaders I have coached. It's very, very effective. So the first one is to be able to identify what is holding you back. So I want you all to think about that now. The times that you were stuck, the times that you wanted to move forward, what were the thoughts in your head and where was it coming from? Did it sound like a parent? Did it sound like it was coming from a friend, an old boss? Maybe it sounds like someone you already know. So you have to think about who some said it and also the experience that you had that came with it. And once you're able to find out who said it and where it came from, what experience it came from, that's when you start controlling the environment because you get a hold of what's happening to you, you get a hold of where it's coming from and you're able to change the outcome.

So the second step is really all about finding what is your anchor story. So now that you found out where it was coming from, what is now your anchor story. And your anchor story is a lot about what are the themes that I see. If you had a thought balloon in your head, what is the thought balloon saying? Every time I experience this and then you start realizing, oh, there's a certain theme. And my theme was I am not good enough. So I want you to think about that now. What is the theme that keeps recurring and you know when it's bad for you but you can't let it go, what is that theme and or that thought in your head? And so once you start changing that, everything becomes different. So that leads me to the third step. So the third step is all about my negative anchors are I am not good enough. So I have to change it with an equally powerful line. Why does it have to be so powerful? Because it's so ingrained in us and we can't let it go even if we want to. So I thought of I am good, I am enough. And so when you start doing that and practicing that every day, it really changes your life. But a word of warning, it's not that easy. I'm sharing this three step, easy process with you. But to apply it, it's going to be a bit difficult. And why? Because it is ingrained in you. It is something that you've told yourself over and over again. And really it's all about your perception of the world. Because sometimes your perception is not true. It's false beliefs that you created for yourself and you've held onto it to be true.

So what you need to do is to pause to stop, make better choices. Because every day we have two choices to make. One choice is to focus on your negative anchors, and the other choice is to focus on your positive anchors, right? So think about that every time you have triggers out there, every time the environment wants to bring you back to your negative anchor. What you need to use as a weapon is your positive anchor. So you need to use your positive anchor and tell yourself that before you make a decision, before you make an action to be able to change the outcome.

Another thing that I use is you have to be able to motivate yourself. You have to be able to motivate yourself to make those changes. So I want to share with you a really good way to help change that. And so I have helped my clients visualize into the future. Okay, so now I want you to think about that negative anchor. Imagine that you're doing this every single single day. You're thinking, I am not good enough for one year. So what is going to happen to you at the end of one year? At the end of one year, what's going to happen is you're going to probably tell me things like, I want to resign. I'm sad, I'm frustrated, I want to give up. This is something I don't want to do anymore. So that's how powerful our negative anchors are. And we don't want that to happen to us. We want to be able to change that. And so as you practice doing this, remember that growth lies at the edge of our comfort zone. It's not easy to make these changes, but remember the benefits that you can get out of it.

So one thing I want you to remember is this. Imagine you are in a box. It's tight, it's dark, you can't see anything. You feel like you're suffocating. Can you imagine that? It's very hard. But guess what? You have the option to open the box, to push it open, and to be able to step outside and to be able to see another world that's out there for you. And if you're not able to do that, if you choose your negative anchors, you're going to suffocate inside the box. So imagine yourself being released. There's so much freedom there. There's so many choices and possibilities out there for you. And all you need to do is to make that choice today. So I ask you today, all of you, what stories do you anchor yourself? Sam?

INSPIRATION, LEADERSHIP, MOTIVATION, SELF-IMPROVEMENT, MINDSET, PERSONAL GROWTH, TEDX TALKS