The video presents a humorous yet insightful talk on societal pressures and embarrassment associated with women using restrooms at work. It highlights how many women have unique strategies to avoid detection and judgment in office restrooms, reflecting societal expectations and fear of judgment from peers.

It delves into the underlying issues of self-doubt and competition among professional women, introducing the concept of 'mindshift' versus 'mindshit', which are negative thoughts that hold women back. The speaker proposes a three-step method to address these mental barriers by discovering, unpacking, and liberating them.

Main takeaways from the video:

Please remember to turn on the CC button to view the subtitles.

Key Vocabularies and Common Phrases:

1. mantra [ˈmæn.trə] - (noun) - A statement or slogan repeated frequently that expresses a strongly held belief. - Synonyms: (slogan, maxim, motto)

During my school years, I had a mantra, and that was, you hold that shit in until you get home.

2. antiquated [ˈæn.tɪ.kweɪ.tɪd] - (adjective) - Old-fashioned or outdated. - Synonyms: (outdated, outdated, obsolete)

...yet still feel bound by antiquated notions regarding something as natural as taking a shit.

3. corridor gossip [ˈkɒr.ɪ.dɔːr ˈɡɒs.ɪp] - (noun) - Casual conversation, often involving stories or rumors about other people's private lives, happening in workplaces. - Synonyms: (rumors, hearsay, tittle-tattle)

...dreaded the thought of their public shit becoming the topic of corridor gossip.

4. undercover [ˌʌn.dəˈkʌv.ər] - (noun) - An implicit or not openly acknowledged force or influence. - Synonyms: (undercurrent, underpinning, subtext)

...strong undercurrent of competition amongst professional women in general.

5. mindshift [maɪndˌʃɪft] - (noun) - A fundamental change in the way one thinks or views a problem or situation. - Synonyms: (mind change, rethinking, perspective change)

So before we dive into what women can do to liberate their mindshift, let's look at what mindshit really means

6. liberate [ˈlɪb.əˌreɪt] - (verb) - To set free, especially from legal, social, or political restrictions. - Synonyms: (free, emancipate, release)

Before we dive into what women can do to liberate their mindshift, let's look at what mindshit really means.

7. numb [nʌm] - (adjective) - Unable to feel or think in a normal way; not responsive. - Synonyms: (insensitive, indifferent, apathetic)

And we have just become numb to the fact that that can cause us a lot of pain.

8. procrastination [proʊˌkræstɪˈneɪʃən] - (noun) - The act of delaying or postponing something. - Synonyms: (delay, postponement, deferral)

It could be procrastination. It could be self sabotage or the good old negative self talk that we all know.

9. self-sabotage [sɛlf ˈsæb.ə.tɑːʒ] - (noun) - The act of undermining or harming oneself in a deliberate way. - Synonyms: (self-destruction, self-defeat, self-undoing)

It could be procrastination. It could be self sabotage or the good old negative self talk that we all know.

10. vulnerability [ˌvʌl.nər.əˈbɪl.ɪ.ti] - (noun) - The quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. - Synonyms: (exposure, openness, sensitivity)

It's in our collective vulnerability that women can find liberation, true freedom from any of these expectations.

Why women dont sh** at work - Irina Soriano - TEDxDrewUniversity

I would like to quickly prepare you that this is not your usual TEDx talk, because this talk is full of shit. I will say the word shit roughly 70 times in about 13 minutes. So buckle up. In over 15 years of my corporate life, one thing I am certain of is that no one ever heard me shit at work. I made sure of it. Growing up in Germany, I was a Heimscheisser, a home shitter. During my school years, I had a mantra, and that was, you hold that shit in until you get home. And from a young age, I was scared shitless that the girls in school would ridicule me in the bathroom. And that's a concern. Many teenagers also seem to shit themselves over these days, because if a classmate takes out their phone, they snap a picture through the stall gap. That shit could lead to a lot of unwanted likes on social media.

I'm sure we all have our bathroom tales. Mine includes a 15 minutes silent shit stand off at the office, where I was waiting out another woman who was in the stall literally right next to me. Both of us hoping for the other one to just wave the white flag and leave the bathroom so whoever won the battle could do her business. And I got so exhausted hovering over the bowl that I was tempted to yell, let's just shit at the same time and get this over with now. It's a peculiar world we navigate, balancing female empowerment and openness in so many areas of women's lives, yet still feel bound by antiquated notions regarding something as natural as taking a shit.

So this situation has puzzled me my entire life. Women are going to great lengths to hide their business at work, and we all shit, on average, once per day. So that's a pretty big effort. It seems to be a blend of embarrassment and the fear of judgment from other women. So let's unpack the embarrassment first. I got super curious about this, so I did a survey, and I asked 160 professional women within my network, and 70% of these women admitted to be embarrassed about the smell of their shit at work. Moreover, many of them dreaded the thought of their public shit becoming the topic of corridor gossip. And quite frankly, I was not surprised to hear that, because office bathroom stall gaps, they are so big that I borderline feel rude not to say hello there while I'm in the stall with my pants down.

So this embarrassment drives women to great lengths to avoid detection. I'm going to show you some of the survey results here. 42% of the women said there is no chance that they shit in the bathroom closest to their office. So they try to find another floor where there's less traffic and less people they know, or they take their shit off the premises altogether, and they go to gyms and to cafes nearby the office. 25% engage in the shit standoff. You now understand what that means, right? Right. I also like to call this the sci master of the 21st century, because I can crack a nut with these things from all the squatting that I have done in my life. 12% embrace the strategy of excessive flushing and making loads of noise while they in the stall. Another 12% they said, you know what? I clench up and I hold my shit in all day until I get home.

And then some women mastered the art of soundproofing their shits with large amounts of toilet paper. Now, I will admit this is not a method that I personally use, but I have tested this out for all of you. With single ply office toilet paper, you need about 50 sheets to muffle the plop effectively. And God forbid a fart sneaks out. You can always start coughing really, really loud so nobody knows what's happening in the stall. And then, believe it or not, 1%. They bring a large bag to work every day, carrying their shit shoes to disguise their feet from stall gap gazers.

Shit shoes. So women's embarrassment in the bathroom, that's not the only challenge we face. There is also the fear of judgment from fellow women. So, in the survey I conducted, the vast majority of women, they shared their constant concern over how female colleagues judge their personality and their appearance at work. And they also acknowledge that there's a strong undercurrent of competition amongst professional women in general. And that fear that can drive women to hold onto their shit in the bathroom, but also in the boardroom. And now women are holding onto all of their shit, not just the physical kind. And instead of being vulnerable so we can actually liberate our shit, we pass on judgment amongst each other, and then we engage in competition. And all of that is driven by our collective self doubt and insecurity.

So the question becomes, where is this fear of judgment coming from? And many women might agree with me that it comes from societal expectations. Society has long told women to keep their shit to themselves, and they handed us a rulebook that says, hide your shit. And that's why women can go all day to hold onto their physical shit. And if that's not crazy enough, on top of that, we're also holding onto our mental shit, and we have just become numb to the fact that that can cause us a lot of pain. But that's a woman's life right there. And unless we have a way to liberate ourselves from this mental shit, we also won't be able to peacefully shit at work either. I call this mental clutter mindshit.

So before we dive into what women can do to liberate their mindshift, let's look at what mindshit really means. It's the mental shit that clouds our thoughts and it slows our progress. And most importantly, it holds us back from reaching our full potential. It is that nagging voice in our head that says, you suck and you're stupid and you look like shit. And it can show up in many different shapes or forms. It could be procrastination. It could be self sabotage or the good old negative self talk that we all know. But here is the good news. I have developed a way how women can liberate themselves from this shit by moving from mind shit to mind shift.

A mind shift that is the very moment where we look at our mind shit differently and we instantly overcome it. And when a mind shift occurs in your life, you will realize that you have the power to create the shift from shitting all over yourself and tearing yourself down to being your very own biggest cheerleader and bringing yourself up. And I coined the three steps how you can create this shift. The piece of shit method. Discover your shit, unpack it, and liberate your shit. And I know what some of the women might be thinking right now. This lady is so full of shit. This is not going to work. I will not let that thought become a new piece of mind shit for me because I got enough of that already. Trust me.

And instead, I'm going to show you how you can apply this method to your life life. So let's start with step one. The goal here is to discover what objects, people, and situations trigger mindshift in your life. So we want to create awareness. And that could be really hard when you do this for the first time, because you might not know how many mindshit triggers there are in your life. I'm going to make this easier. I will give you an example. This is actually a list of some of my current mindshift triggers. I have cellulite on my ass, and that's an object that triggers my mindshift. And whenever I look at myself in the mirror, which I do every day, my mindshit is right there and says to me, you're so ugly. I also have a friend, or better to say I had a friend who cut ties with me after many, many years and she didn't tell me why. And that's a person that triggers my mind shift. And every time I think about her, my mind shift's right there to tell me, you're not worthy to be anybody's friend. I also struggle to keep a good workout routine. That's the situation that triggers my mind shit. And whenever, God forbid, I miss to go to the gym, my mind shit's waiting right there to tell me. You're so lazy.

So now you know what's going on in your life and you have awareness, we can move to step two. Now it's time to unpack this shit. And the goal with unpacking is the acknowledgement of your mindshit emotions and their reactions that get triggered here. We're moving into observation mode that will actually allow you to put a little bit of distance between you and these emotions. You can acknowledge that the mindshift, that's not you. That's just your mind playing shitty tricks on yourself. A great way to do that is weekly mindshit journaling. And I tell you, this is not some personal growth, woo woo bullshit. There's actually many studies that have shown that regular journaling about your feelings and emotions, that's linked to decreased mental distress.

From here, we are moving to step three, liberate your shit. Our goal here is action. We are building a plan. But it's not that simple. It's not just any plan. Mindshit needs really firm decision making. So we're planning for one out of three possible outcomes. The first outcome is that you just accept this mindshift in your life. That means you are building a plan that helps you change the way you feel about the mindshift. So the mindshift remains the same, but you change. Or you control your mindshift. So you're building a plan to change your environment and ultimately your mindshift, well, you remain the same. Or then lastly, and that's a tougher one, full elimination of your mindshift. So maybe you quit that job. Maybe you leave your spouse or your partner, or maybe you sell that home that you lived in for 30 years that holds so many painful memories. mindshift changes. You change.

And I learned in my life that it's always one of these three decisions that's applicable when you want to liberate your mind. Shit and the piece of shit. Or the Pos method, how I like to call it. In short, that's a woman's weapon when shit hits the fan. Because here is the truth. This shit never ends for any of us. So we need a reliable way how we can liberate our mindshift quickly as it enters our life. So it doesn't consume our thoughts, it doesn't steal our energy. And most importantly, it does not hold us back from becoming the women that we all aspire to be.

So, ladies, we are knee deep in this together. We have been told to be quiet. We have been told to hide, and we have been told to flush down our shit and get on with our day as if it was a mere inconvenience. We need to stop holding on to our shit. It's time to change the expectations that we're all silently enduring and to own our experiences loudly. And we all owe it to women to normalize that we can and we should make noise so that the next generation of girls, they don't need to bring their shit shoes to work, or engage in shit stand offs, or hold onto their mind shit their entire life, where we expect them to lead, to make big decisions, to manage their careers confidently, and to raise a family.

It's in our collective vulnerability that women can find liberation, true freedom from any of these expectations. That comes when we all unite and we embark on our mind shift journeys together. Because share shit is lighter shit. Thank you.

Female Empowerment, Vulnerability, Societal Expectations, Leadership, Innovation, Women In Workplace, Tedx Talks