The speaker reflects on her experiences growing up in Antwerp as the daughter of Moroccan immigrants, addressing the racism and societal division she faced for being perceived as different. This sense of alienation was compounded by cultural and religious expectations, exemplified by episodes such as being excluded from school swimming lessons and struggling with a sense of not belonging. Through these stories, she vividly describes the internal conflict between her desire to fit in and her individual identity shaped by her cultural background.

Despite societal pressures, she upheld her cultural traditions at her Islamic school while simultaneously yearning to belong in her broader community. This inner conflict persisted into adolescence and adulthood, driving her to make significant life changes. She recounts how she eventually stopped wearing her headscarf, secretly got divorced, and prioritized raising her children without a Moroccan surname to shield them from discrimination. She highlights the personal transformations she undertook in pursuing inner freedom and self-acceptance.

Main takeaways from the video:

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Key Vocabularies and Common Phrases:

1. alderman [ˈɔːldərmən] - (noun) - A member of a municipal legislative body in a city or town. - Synonyms: (councilor, representative, lawmaker)

I would like to begin with the following quotes from Florida, an alderman from the city of Amsterdam in 1914.

2. polarized [ˈpoʊləˌraɪzd] - (adjective) - Divided into two sharply contrasting groups or sets of opinions or beliefs. - Synonyms: (divided, fragmented, split)

As a Belgian born daughter of Moroccan immigrants growing up in Antwerp, I have witnessed racism and discrimination in a polarized society.

3. verdict [ˈvɜːrdɪkt] - (noun) - An opinion or judgement. - Synonyms: (decision, ruling, conclusion)

However, now it felt strange not joining the others in the changing rooms but having to sit in a canteen with one of the nuns.

4. dilemma [dɪˈlɛmə] - (noun) - A situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives. - Synonyms: (predicament, quandary, conundrum)

Both of them wore a dilemma, just like me now, which is ideal for when you can't decide what to wear.

5. haram [həˈrɑːm] - (adjective) - Forbidden by Islamic law. - Synonyms: (prohibited, banned, unlawful)

Things that were taken for granted by other people. To give you an example, one day my parents told me I I was no longer allowed to take the swimming lessons provided by my Catholic primary school because the boys and the girls swam together and that would be haram.

6. downheartedly [daʊnˈhɑːrtɪdli] - (adverb) - Without hope or confidence; very discouraged. - Synonyms: (disheartenedly, despondently, gloomily)

downheartedly, I thought about my apple green bathing suit, my pretty bathing suit with its cream colored frills and red flowers.

7. canine [ˈkeɪnaɪn] - (noun) - A stick or tool used as an instrument of punishment. - Synonyms: (rod, switch, staff)

And we were especially frightened of the cane in his hand.

8. radiantly [ˈreɪdiəntli] - (adverb) - In a manner that is bright and shining, often used to describe a visible manifestation of happiness or health. - Synonyms: (brilliantly, vividly, glowingly)

After her first lesson, she came back smiling radiantly with some delicious Belgian chocolate coffee biscuits fresh from the baker's.

9. affiliation [əˌfɪliˈeɪʃən] - (noun) - The state or process of being related or connected to a larger body. - Synonyms: (association, connection, relationship)

While trying hard to meet many expectations, I had a son.

10. meditation [ˌmɛdɪˈteɪʃən] - (noun) - A practice where an individual uses a technique to focus their mind on a particular object, thought, or activity to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state. - Synonyms: (contemplation, reflection, introspection)

I started my own business and began teaching Pilates and meditation to women.

What you seek is seeking you - Samira Ahale - TEDxHarderwijk

Peace be upon you and God's mercy and blessings. I would like to begin with the following quotes from Florida, an alderman from the city of Amsterdam in 1914. There is only one country, Earth. There is only one people, humanity. There is only one religion, love. As a Belgian born daughter of Moroccan immigrants growing up in Antwerp, I have witnessed racism and discrimination in a polarized society. People spoke of we and they. Society was divided and I soon found out that we were not welcome. Apparently we were different and I didn't want to be different. I was only a little girl. I wanted to belong.

To begin with, I looked different with my headscarf. My parents, who walked me to school now and then, stood out wearing their traditional Moroccan costumes. Both of them wore a dilemma, just like me now, which is ideal for when you can't decide what to wear. And of course my mother wore a headscarf too.

After a while I wasn't allowed to do certain things anymore. Things that were taken for granted by other people. To give you an example, one day my parents told me I was no longer allowed to take the swimming lessons provided by my Catholic primary school because the boys and the girls swam together and that would be haram. From that day on, I walked with my classmates to the town swimming pool. It used to be a pleasant walk. However, now it felt strange not joining the others in the changing rooms but having to sit in a canteen with one of the nuns. downheartedly, I thought about my apple green bathing suit, my pretty bathing suit with its cream colored frills and red flowers.

As I sat by the pool, the next belief took root in my mind. One that was going to take me a long time to get rid of. I am not allowed to join in because I am different. So there must be something wrong with me. I also went to an Islamic school. It was located in a former Catholic boy school and had been founded by our pastor who thought that migrant workers should also have somewhere to practice their religion. The school was adjacent to the church. We learned the surahs of the verses of the Quran out loud in the Quran school. The Imam sat with his feet resting on the desk, picking his nose. Sometimes he even clipped his toenails. And we were especially frightened of the cane in his hand. So that's why we did our best and tried so hard.

The Quran has 60 chapters. Each chapter contains several verses or in Arabic surah, and they are ordered by length. We learned these verses by writing them down in an exercise book. And when we learned a verse of by heart, we recited it in the Imam's ear. And when we completed a whole chapter, we were allowed to treat the whole class. My father would bring a big crate of oranges or peaches. The Quran has 60 chapters. Guess how many times I treated. I also earned pocket money by reciting the Quran verses to my illiterate mother until she went to the Islamic school herself. She was very excited about that. So I remember that my sisters and I bought her a lovely handbag to put her exercise books and pens in. After her first lesson, she came back smiling radiantly with some delicious Belgian chocolate coffee biscuits fresh from the baker's.

I also earned money by reciting the Quran whenever we had important guests to our house. My father was very proud of his little girl. However, that little girl had thought up a plan. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. At prayer time, when the coast was clear, I crept to my own piggy bank in my parents bedroom and counted the amount for one swimming lesson. 15 Belgian francs. I packed my apple green bathing suit and looked forward to the swimming lesson. But as I was still a little girl, I forgot that my long hair braid would never be dry on time before I went home for lunch. The good news is they never found out. I was only a child. I didn't want to be different. I wanted to join in.

I wanted to belong in secondary school. My classmates went out of their way to stay away from me. And I hated Phys Ed classes. Stands for Physical Education. Did you know that? I loved sports? And I even. And I played soccer whenever I could. And I even dreamed of being a big soccer star one day. The first Moroccan female soccer star. It was because I was always the last one to be picked when they were making teams. But I was good at sports and I loved running. So this changed once they caught on to this.

How I survived secondary school is still a mystery. However, I developed an eating disorder. And as you can see, I am healed now and decided to stop wearing my headscarf. I began to lead a double life. And this double life proved to be difficult. For example, whenever the bus drivers were on a strike. Earlier, when I was practicing with my daughter who sits over there, I said stroke. And she said, mom, don't say stroke, it's strike. So I had to ask my father. My father had to take me to school. And I asked my father if I could have a bicycle so he wouldn't have to take me.

And I stirred things up even more. When I married a non Moroccan man. I was different from other Moroccan girls. So I stirred things up even more. When I married a non Moroccan man, even though he had converted to Islam, I felt it was important that my children, my future children, would not have a Moroccan surname so that they would not be discriminated against like I was when I was looking for a job.

While trying hard to meet many expectations, I had a son. I named him Noor, which means light. Less than two years later, my daughter was born in one of those rentable tubs. So she was born swimming. It was then that I realized that I was still living a life that was not my own and that I was still afraid of rejection. Being a divorced woman, how could I, as a mature woman and a mother, now teach my children what inner freedom was when I was still afraid of being myself?

These insights led to me taking necessary steps that changed my life. First of all, I got divorced secretly. It took me six months to inform my parents. I got swimming lessons from my children's swim coach. Please teach me how to float, I asked her. I was okay with swimming in the shallow end, but I was afraid of swimming in the deep end. I started my own business and began teaching Pilates and meditation to women. I took various courses and some therapy and wrote two books and transformed myself to what I am today. A boundary based awareness trainer and a silence guide to inner leadership.

I would like to recite the following from A Course in Miracles, which is, since 10 years now, a great inspiration in my life. A Course in Miracles is a self study method that enables people to reconnect with their inner guide or as is it called by the course, the Divine Spirit. Peace is clearly an internal matter. It must begin with your own thoughts and then extend outward. It is from your peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises.

Constantly having to try hard not to be rejected can be very tiring. Constant adaptation is self destructive, as is not being able to be yourself. I believe that peace begins when you embrace yourself as you truly are. I believe that every form of rejection is a guide to finding your true self. And I also believe that we can change the world and bring peace to it once we are at peace with who we are. Do you remember that there is only one country? I can't hear you. Do you remember that there is only one people? And do you remember that there is only one religion? Salamu Alaykum. Peace be upon you and God's mercy and blessings. Shukran. Thank you.

Inspiration, Motivation, Leadership, Cultural Identity, Inner Peace, Personal Transformation, Tedx Talks